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Are wives shying away from cooking?



Sir: As my luggage was ready to accompany me back to the city after the yuletide, my mother called me and said, ‘ sit down, my son, I want to have a word with you.

Last week, you told me how much you spent on feeding from public pots on daily basis and that is outrageous.

If you get a wife, you will stop eating outside and that will enable you save to embark on necessary things such as building a house, buying a car among others’.


‘Thank you, mama. I will do just that,’ I pledged. She smiled and embraced me .For three years running after that talk, I am like a bachelor. I spend three times what I used to spend when I was single on feeding from public pots.

I still go to the dry cleaners as often as I used to. I also tidy the house myself. I have advised my wife several times to turn over a new leaf but she has refused to budge .I would have quit the union if not for my little son.

I am not alone in this field of experience. In a restaurant, two men were bemoaning the laziness and unwillingness of their wives to cook for them. ‘I am tired of this marriage’, one lamented, ‘my wife doesn’t cook at home.

Every school day, she takes our three children to a local eating centre called buka in the morning to buy food which they will eat in the morning and afternoon and at night, she buys food from a nearby buka. The day she decides to cook it is indomie. To cap it all, she is an idler’

‘We are in the same boat’, the other man hissed, ‘my wife is lazy, idle and quarrelsome. In those days, wives cooked for their families and washed their husbands’ clothes but in my case, she does none of these.

Most times, if I give her money to cook, she will use it to buy food from a buka for herself and our only child. She is even rude to me. Most weekends, I do the cooking to avoid quarrel.

Some of my relatives call me a henpecked husband. I am bemused’. In the course of the bitter reactions, more married men arrived with the same stories of disappointment.

Another area of concern is indecent dressing. Nowadays, it is practically impossible to distinguish a married woman from an unmarried one in terms of dressing.

Many married women shamelessly expose their bodies to the glare of the public in the name of dressing .See them in social parties, churches and other engagements and you will vow never to see them again .It is really an eyesore!

‘My wife is never satisfied with the money I give her’, one man regretted, ‘she keeps demanding for more like Oliver Twist. If I don’t comply with her demand, the house will be on fire.

I have deserted my house several times due to her nagging behaviour .To worsen matters she contributes nothing to keep the family going. I am devastated’. This man is not alone under this umbrella of regret. This is what is on the lips of many married men today.

The predilection for money and other material things has forced many wives into indulging in away matches. They have brushed our tradition aside and made mockery of the laws of the Almighty God in the name of free life.

This is a major precursor to the rampant cases of marry today divorce tomorrow. Where is the sanctity of marriage, wives?

• Udodilim Ijeoma, is a public affairs analyst, wrote from Sapele, Delta State.

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