Be the mother who is celebrated

Although many mothers view parenting as their normal role, but admit it Mum, you would not be happy if you were not shown appreciation as a parent once in a while.So do not feel shy when those bucketfuls of praise and thanks are poured your way this Mother’s Day. In fact we would suggest that you set in motion those things that make you an outstanding parent and activate them. Do not sit there consumed with self-pity because you think that after all you have done, nobody remembers; make sure you are toasted, demand to be “washed.”

Not to forget that we hear of children who abandon aged parents, at the time it should be their turn to give care so lovingly given by parents who have played hosts to them.
I have heard of cases where grown children label their mothers with negative names publicly; for whatever reason, it is wrong for a child to maltreat the mum who gave birth to you, who scrimped and perhaps saved to give you the best she could afford, although her tongue is whip-lash and drips with acid.

For you, mother, who do not expect to be thanked for cooking, washing and drying tears; still the joy of Mother’s Day could be doubled if you have children who want to celebrate you, the ones with the desire to do so, not those who do it because everybody is celebrating mothers. We think that these recipes might make mothering less stressful:

Work with Daddy
This may be a challenge sometimes. When two individuals are aiming to reach one goal, disagreement is inevitable; you may think you have what it takes while he believes that he has a better idea. Even when his ways are different and certainly off mark, be gentle in your criticism of his ways; especially in front of your children and when you know that the children disapprove of his ways. Discuss your misgivings and try to reach an agreement. Do not make co-parenting a competition of who is a better parent. You have your different roles to play.

If circumstances have made you the breadwinner, do not rub it in at every opportunity. Do not tell the children; “I bought it, not your father,” “your father refused to bring the money.” Do not discourage the children or incite them against their other parent; they see their daddy as the knight in shiny amour and you are both trying to raise happy children.

I know of a woman who would tell her children “it is my money. Your daddy refused to give me.” The day she said it to my face, I saw the pained look in her daughter’s face. Everybody knew the family was going through a rough patch at the time and agreed that it was tough to pay school fees and she was carrying almost the financial burden of four children because the man had lost his job. She even left at a time.

But he was not idle; he was trying to set up a business. He got through it, the day he took the family out; they stopped by to greet me. As they were leaving, the daughter rushed to sit in front of the new Mercedes and struggled with the mother for the space. Eventually, the mother sent her to the back seat.

Did the girl remember how her mother behaved during those difficult times? If the marriage is not in serious trouble, discuss your grievances. With constant bickering, you are not showing a good example to the children. If he is not a committed father, he could not be a good influence for the children.

Train Happy and Confident Children
I was one day looking at handbags on display in a shop when a young woman came in and bought two bags-“one is for me and the other is for my mum,” she beamed as she explained that, “my mum likes my bags, so I always buy for her.” In yet another shop, a girl called out to her two impatient friends; “I am looking for something for my mum. The mothers of these girls did not just give birth to them; she reared confident and appreciative children.

Encourage them to be Self-Expressive
Children have opinion. Listen to what they have to say sometimes; it may not agree with your wish but knowing helps. If it should be discouraged, you begin early. If he is bursting with the ideas for one so young, tell him that he has a good idea.

Spend Time Together
With the advent of mobile phones, parenting has gone mobile too. I came to this truth recently as I eavesdropped on the discussion of three women. At the close of work, they had no plans to go home, but one was a mother of a very young child as I gathered from the discussions on the phone; “No. No, don’t leave him alone. Buy biscuit; eat ice cream. Take the one on the right side of the freezer.” Then they put a whimpering child’s voice to hear mummy’s soothing voice.Very interesting, I thought. Still you should spend time with them. Initiate activities that make you enjoy time together with them.