Everyday I reflect on the abducted girls of Chibok, I imagine what the state of the minds of each of the parents might be and I recoil in horror.

Your daughter, your adorable princess, in the custody, if she is still alive, of some deranged blood-thirsty murderers for almost two years! That is gut-wrenching, heart-shattering, soul-killing!

When the commander-in-chief of the nation’s armed forces, a man not given to much talk let alone empty verbiage, promised he would bring her home by a deadline set by him, you could not but hold on to that raft of hope like the lifeline it is. When the deadline comes, passes and there is no sight of your princess, dead or alive, and the President candidly admits there is no credible information on her whereabouts, you arrive at that point where hopelessness and helplessness meet to make life unworthy of living!

After more than 600 days of searching and waiting in vain for any news on their children’s whereabouts, parents of the more than 200 schoolgirls, abducted in Chibok, Borno State, were justifiably very emotional at their meeting with President Muhammadu Buhari the other day.

The only hope they held on to had been shattered when the President admitted he still had not found the girls and had no good intelligence on where they might be. Buhari had promised, on July 8, to rescue the schoolgirls kidnapped by Islamic insurgents, Boko Haram, on the night of April 14–15, 2014, from the Government Secondary School, Chibok.

To be fair, the president did well by breaching all protocols and the stance of some of his ministers, to receive the BringBackOurGirls, BBOG, group and parents of the abducted girls at a very short notice.

The anger expressed by Oby Ezekwesili, leader of the BringBackOurGirls activist group, at some ministers who tried to shield the president from seeing the protesting group and parents was indeed justified. And in asking for a better display of some understanding or conscientiousness on the part of those in power, she succeeded in saying: How would anyone of you feel or act if your child was among the missing?

Ezekwesili, in her submission to the President during the meeting, correctly pointed out that Buhari’s words during his last media chat that the government did not have credible information on the whereabouts of the girls, left the parents, the movement and the rest of the world in shock, given that the Federal Government had made the girls’ rescue a key indicator of success and defeat of Boko Haram.
“It is, therefore, with the deepest pain and disappointment that the parents, Chibok community and our movement are here again six months after our July 8 meeting to register our absolute dissatisfaction on the lack of progress.”

She then asked: “How can we declare that our nation has won the war when 219 daughters of Nigeria and other abducted victims are still not back?”
By the way, Oby Ezekwesili is one woman after my heart. Alongside members of her group, of course!
Her passion over the missing girls has been incredible. Her energy and commitment are without compare and that this crusade is very personal to her is absolutely not in doubt. Many, of course, have accused her of merely hugging publicity for her own sake, but I say Nigeria needs more of such ‘self-promoters’ as Oby as long as it is for a good cause. By any definition of that description, she is one of Nigeria’s most illustrious daughters, one fiercely committed to justice and the wellbeing of all.

Twenty One months is a long period but we must not give up on the girls. Time must not lighten the pain in our hearts or reduce the burden on our conscience.

No cant, no chicanery, she speaks her mind truthfully and pursues her ideals doggedly. She is known to take on even her best friends once she perceives any wrong-doing. A former cabinet colleague with whom she shared a close affinity in ideas and who was also rated a star of the administration in which they both served once narrated how Ezekwesili excoriated him for some well-intentioned scheme but which, with time constraints, was not subjected to the full dictates of due diligence. They fell out, of course, with the gentleman objecting to being lectured on probity by Ezekwesili. But he had to make up with her knowing that she was not only right, she wanted the best for her country.

She is truly a believer in the innate goodness of all Nigerians. And for her, the best demonstration of that is in the readiness as well as determination to fight publicly those evils that often seek to replace that goodness in the Nigerian.

While many Nigerians would seem to have moved on with their lives, with the Chibok girls tragedy reduced to something of a media event, she and members of her group have kept the flame burning in the hearts of anyone with conscience. They have tugged at our heart-strings with reminders that any one of those girls could have been any other person’s daughter.

And this is why I not only applaud the revelation that the President sleeps and wakes with thoughts of the Chibok girls’ rescue, I commend that same spirit to all Nigerians but would want the president to publicly demonstrate his pains at the continued mystery over the girls’ fate.

While the parents wait for the girls’ return, they need the empathy of all, to feel, at all times, that the nation has not moved on. Visits, in protest or on invitation, to Aso Rock are not enough. The President should demonstrate this empathy by going to the homes from which these children were so violently plucked, in a public show of solidarity with their parents and all Nigerians.

If the President is not winning the war, he can, at least, win the hearts of the people. Or influence how his efforts are perceived by Nigerians! Now, he may be saying all the right things, using all the right words or even doing all the right things but he appears less committed, even less conscientious, in the rescue operation than he actually may be. The palpable collective fatigue of Nigerians over the campaign, on the streets and in the trenches of Sambisa Forest, for the girls’ rescue should not be inspired by the President’s own perceived resignation to the futility of the search.

So, the President has to show that not only is he leading the search for the girls, he is doing so in all conscience and with a genuine feeling for those who are hurting.

While his pains and frustration over the girls’ rescue may be founded, the current atmosphere seems to advertise a certain removal of the foot from the pedal, a switch of the heart from the girls’ plight and, therefore, a collective absence of conscience in all Nigerians.

Twenty One months is a long period but we must not give up on the girls. Time must not lighten the pain in our hearts or reduce the burden on our conscience. Certainly, the girls must be found for their parents and the larger Nigerian family to bring the saga to a closure.

But if we are ever going to bring back the girls, Nigerians, President as well as citizens, must end the current ‘empathy deficit,’ to use Barack Obama’s words, and bring back our hearts to a tragedy we must not live down.