On the 4th of April 2022, I informed my account manager that I was writing Cheques to various people and asked again that my balances be sent through WhatsApp, the account officer replied; “ok sir Noted” and I immediately asked again for my balance. “Why can’t I get my balances? What exactly is the problem? I am making some withdrawals today from Adetokumbo Ademola branch.” She replied “ok sir, please ask for Adam sir”. I did and was attended to.

Between the 25th and 26th of December 2022, a lot of messages came from my account manager GTCO Bank wishing me a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. There were 11 messages in two days, some of which were very touching; “Merry Christmas! May your days ahead be as vibrant as this festive season? May you shine as bright as the Christmas lights because you deserve it all. Have a great year and a wonderful life ahead! GTCO bank.”

Another greeting had these noble sentiments; “it’s amazing how you one way or the other shaped my 2022, super excited for 2023 and that we made it. This is my prayer for you, may you excel in whatsoever you place your hands to do and even though there may be obstacles you will overcome. Happy New Year. GTCO bank.

In my reply to these messages on 2nd of January I said “Merry Christmas, Happy New Year. I keep asking you to send me my balances. You haven’t in over a year.  Please send my balances. Thanks, God bless, PDcole.I repeated the request for my balances on the 4th and on the 8th of January 2023. I said; “I still haven’t received the balances, what programmes do you have for elderly clients like me at 82 years old? Thanks. God bless.”

If there was some hidden message or meaning to these explosion of Christmas greetings, I must have missed it. To be fair, no one had asked me to show gratitude for services I received from this out-pouring of yuletide greetings. I really could not show gratitude for so poor a service.

By the 17th of January I was beginning to lose patience, I wrote “you last sent me my balances in March 2020!!?? Habana! What have I done to you?”

Finally on the 2nd of June 2023, I wrote “you last sent my balances on March 2020. I would like bank statements from March 2020 till date on all my accounts with you. I am really upset and unhappy by your bank’s lack of response to these simple requests. I am over 80 years old and do not have the energy to be walking around. You claim to welcome seniors, my experience does not support this. If my business is too inconsequential and burdensome please let me know and I will take my business elsewhere. “Why don’t you answer any of my calls and send me my balances?” No response.

I needed to make transfer from my bank to a client at another bank. This usually would last a few moments. When I got to the bank, this palaver of restriction again came up. I said to the manager I put in the restriction but was now in the bank asking that this transfer be made and I was told that I have to give them instructions to remove the restriction on my account before the bank did anything. My presence in the bank did not cover or deviate my restriction. It seemed an easy matter to me; the account is mine, the transfer is ordered by me and I was present at the bank, in any case I had to write to the bank to remove the restriction before they will act and another letter to reinstate the restriction after the transfer.

Banking is now a fearsome activity. I thought I would write to the manager but I felt there was no need. Anyway who listens to a dithering old man?

As if I did not have enough problems, I went to cash a cheque of N150,000 from Standard Chartered Bank, all my accounts are joint account with my wife. The account could be signed by either of us. The idea was to avoid any problem if one of us were to die, there would not be a problem with the account. I have done this for many years and had no problem until I opened a similar account with Standard Chartered Bank. Under their Know Your Clients programme, the bank wanted to know the source of her income.

I explained that I was the source of her income, but they were not satisfied and for the past five years I get this DHL letter to her. Each time I go to the bank to explain, but the bank would not understand. For many years this request was enough for my account officer. Now all of a sudden, they would not accept the explanation, they have now put a stop on my account. I explained to them that my wife could not give them source of the fund since the account was opened. I then informed them that she passed nearly two years ago.

So we are now at an impasse, maybe I should go to her grave side and ask her what her source of income. I invited the operations manager to follow me when next I go there. He demurred. I must be jinxed by banks; my persona must send negative vibes to banks. What can I do to change this?
Concluded
Dr. Cole, OFR is former Ambassador of Nigeria to Brazil.