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Helmut: I believe the time has come for us to dispense with diplomatic niceties in international business!
Ambassador Musa: Not exactly. Are you reacting to the madness in Washington?
Boris: There is a King Lear in the White House! Tragic.
Kissinger: Not funny! And if I may extend your Lear metaphor, the presence of Ivanka and her husband and some cronies has not helped matters!
Pierre: Yes, he is certainly reacting to Washington. But we need not allow ourselves to be dragged in the mud by an interloper.
Boris: We needn’t be like him. We can talk frankly behind closed doors and speak smoothly before the media.
Pierre: That’s how it had been done; that’s diplomacy.
Kissinger: This too shall pass. In the history of nations such characters sometimes emerge but our common humanity helps us to survive. Mao in China, Stalin in USSR, Mussolini in Italy, and Hitler in Germany are all examples.

Musa: One of the greatest fears in a democracy is demagoguery; too many lessons from the past!
Helmut: What gives a sitting president the right to insult another head of state in a meeting of friendly nations?
Musa: Why didn’t one of the insulted presidents give him a dose of his medicine? If he is not playing by the rules of engagement why are the other leaders so silent? Kim Jong Un called him names and that’s the type of narrative Trump likes! I mean why didn’t any Head of State make a snide remark about Stormy Daniels, first lady of the pornographic world?
Pierre: Good question!
Pierre: We are no pigs; they go lower we go higher!
Boris: Washington believes in courting dictators and smearing all of us. See the romance between him and the North Korean leader as you observed.
Pierre: There he was insulting all of us and sucking it up to Putin and demanding that we invite him back into G7.
Boris: Trump wants to be like them; he wants to muzzle all opposition because he believes he can run the country like a successful business!
Kissinger: Successful business my foot!

Musa: I never took the Russian interference seriously until recently. There is more to it than meets the eye.
Kissinger: We are worried about the quality of thinking that goes into policy making and implementation in Washington.
Helmut: I don’t think there is any thinking. He acts on the spur, led by his guts and business sense.
Boris: No serious government should be run on Twitter!
Pierre: Government should not be run like a capitalist business. Private interests often clash with government’s interest.
Musa: You need another amendment to the Constitution!
Kissinger: Perhaps; now he wants to appoint another Supreme Court Judge!
Boris: Politics! Just dawned on me that Supreme Court Justices are not neutral, not with what is going on in America!


Pierre: Now you know! Ambassador Musa, my President was in your country the other day on a visit!
Musa: O yes. It was a wonderful, down-to-earth experience. The man is a serious politician and with that kind of mind he will go far.
Kissinger: Why didn’t your president accompany him?
Boris: Good question. Good, good question!
Pierre: We had thought the president would accompany him and made all the security arrangements.
Musa: As a Muslim he must not be seen in such places. You know how Fela was in the country in his life time. He hated the primary constituency which my incumbent president belonged in.
Pierre: I see nothing wrong for a Muslim president who is leader of a nation entering a chapel or music shrine for official reasons!
Boris: We have managed diversity and plurality very well in Britain.
Kissinger: I am not sure about that. Your country will soon be taken over by Muslims! I hope you won’t wake up when it is too late to act!

Boris: English culture will remain dominant till the end of time. The Queen of England is that eternal symbol.
Musa: Does the Queen vote? Does she have political power?
Pierre: If the House of Commons is taken over by Muslims won’t there come a time when they would legislate that no woman should rule over a predominantly Muslim country?


Boris: That is far-fetched, imaginary thinking, preposterous!
Pierre: Let’s go back to the Nigeria story. How did you manage State affairs when the first and second citizens were Muslims?
Helmut: Do you mean your President cannot worship in a cathedral?
Musa: He can; but by protocol arrangement the Vice President goes to cathedral functions while the president attends mosque activities? It’s a tidy national arrangement.
Kissinger: How did you manage?
Musa: We so managed things that there was no…
Helmut: Any nation that is still held back by religion and religious practices can never develop.
Pierre: Religion is, should be a private affair, not the business of the State!
Kissinger: It is tragic that your country is wasting its enormous resources and potentials on account of ethnicity and religion. We had great hope in the 1960s that you would get things right. Alas we were hoping against hope!

Pierre: The path they have chosen is alarming, to say the least. The current political structure where the constituent parts of the federation cannot generate enough revenue to sustain their bureaucracy is not the way to go!
Musa: I understand you; we understand the arguments. But you see, how many States in the northern part of the country can stay alive without federal government help?
Kissinger: That’s enough reason for your country to restructure! The current federal structure is not viable. My advice is that you should start it gradually till all states of the federation can be self-sufficient. You sit on a keg of gun powder that could explode once oil stops being a money-spinner!
Helmut: Yes, you guys have to re-order your priorities. The bureaucracy at all levels is killing. You spend so much paying salaries to civil servants who don’t produce wealth. They are needed but the current level of servicing that sector is anomalous.

Musa: We shall get there. The insurgency in the north east is a great distracting experience.
Pierre: We know; but the Presidency should do more to contain the murderous activities of herdsmen and other vandals. It has soiled the image of the president. Even at the international level, we are concerned that the Federal Government has failed to secure the territory of the nation.
Musa: We are working hard on it. Privately of course we have advised the President to shake off the toga of a pro-Fulani personality. It is damaging to the nation. Some elements in the south and in the social media have latched on to this to berate him.
Boris: Change the narrative; arrest and try some of the perpetrators. It makes no sense to wildly say that politicians are behind the killings. Let them be arrested and prosecuted with enough evidence.
Musa: That is, if there is enough evidence!

In this article:
Hope Eghagha
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