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Conversational taunt between Mr. Integrity and Mr. Honesty!


President Buhari. Photo/Twitter/AsoRock

Sir: Mr. Honesty: Sai Baba, you know what sir? Our integrity and honesty are assets to bring Nigeria back from self-ruin.

It’s working in the minds and consciousness of the people.

Mr. Integrity: Yes oo, my buddy! People are gradually growing wise! We are disgracing the political vultures from the Nigerian political space. We are also giving them compulsory retirement and a way out of our political firmament!

Mr. Honesty: Have you heard or listened to Mr. Tortoise’s insipid and divisive utterances recently? (PYO chuckled and laughed).

Mr. Integrity: Ha ha ha ha, that Ebora in the forest of a thousand demons is suffering from political amnesia and the consciousness of guilt! The best way to deal with ebora in a wasteland is to be silent on his grandstanding and reduce his thirst for attention seeking! By the way, what did Mr. Tortoise have to say this time around? (Sai Baba unintentionally showed his beautiful dentition and smiled wryly).


Mr. Honesty: Mr. Tortoise said our administration “is the most corrupt government in the history of Nigeria!”
Mr. Integrity: kikikikikiki…….. a kpuruf man calling us kpuruf dudes? Kpuruf Mr. Tortoise has no modicum of shame at all! He will soon explain how our $16 billion power project money got missing from his corrupt closet! Can you see how we are compulsorily retiring Ebora now from Nigerian political scene? The best answer for him is a complete silence to make him look more cockamamie at 82+. At Ebora’s twilight years, he has become politically senile and octogenarian(ly) juvenile! He has no clue or iota of shame on when to quit the stage when the ovation was loudest!

Mr. Integrity: (looks back, tapping baba to see the scornful look of the Kwaran guy who was just recently disgraced gracefully from the 9th Senate in the last election).

Mr. Integrity: Sai Baba, look at your friend, Saraki.

(Sai Baba looks back and looks at Mr. Honesty and busted into hysterical laughter). Do you remember when the young corrupt man was riding on the back of a tiger? We admonished him that he might get consumed. Now, the rest is history! Mr. Honesty: These young lads in our country have no respect for history. Your silence at times, is a potential weapon to destroy your adversaries? You seem gifted at dispensing this weaponised silence!

Mr. Integrity: Yes oooo! Kai manna! There’s great wisdom in silence! There’s great wisdom in knowing when to talk and when not to talk! Your silence can easily (de)amplify the grandstanding and futile noise of your haters! For example, Mr. Tortoise! Buddy, we have to go back to work ooo, to begin to meet the yearning and aspirations of the plebeians! We can’t afford to disappoint them.

Mr. Honesty: Yes sir! While we continue to wage war on corruption, we must work hard to provide transparency, good roads, jobs, constant power supply and security for our people. These are our collective custodian mandate from the plebeians. Mr. Integrity: With our good intentions, honesty, integrity and hard work, we shall succeed, Insha Allah! All our enemies creating impediments for our success shall be put to shame! Say hi to your beautiful, amiable and dutiful wife, Dolapo! Mr. Honesty: Best regards to your beautiful Aisha and family! The two providential leaders laughed wryly at each other and with mesmerising looks at the Kwaran man and the cunning Mr. Tortoise. After the end of their presidential jibes, the two Oyoyos parted ways, jumped into their waiting official vehicles for an ambulatory route to their official homes. End of Presidential and conversational jibes!

Yahaya Balogun wrote from Arizona, USA.


In this article:
Mr. Integrity
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