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Family planning extra

By Ozo Mordi   |   04 March 2017   |   3:38 am

When we discuss the ideal number of children we want as parents, we tend to forget that raising them together is also a very important aspect of planning the family. I agree with this opinion I came across somewhere that, as you discuss the wedding plans, you should not put off the way to bring up the children you have so that such talk does not bring anxiety and perhaps ruin your bright countenance and put a dark mark on your wedding album.

Discuss it the moment you know you are in the relationship until death does it part. It is necessary. If your individual differences are not enough to discourage a union between you, parenting styles, even when you disapprove, would not.

Luckily, you would know up-front that your better half’s laziness should not be inherited by your children because you know and having discussed it well and have his agreement to cooperate that it can be corrected before they grow up.

According to this information, a study found that couples quarrel more than twice when they become mothers and fathers. Top on the list is the right way to discipline the children.

It is rarely the case that children would point at fathers as carrying the cane or shouting himself hoarse when it comes to discipline at home. His quietude may be effective but mother is always the one to wield the big stick at home. So mention it as you go through the list of names to give the newborn baby.

Boys love their freedom, so maybe the man should mention this first because you remember the hassles your mother gave you for playing football when she sent you on errand.

It should not come as a surprise to you, therefore, that your compliant sweetheart has her own plans already; plans formulated because of your overflowing laundry basket with your gym outfit and underwear spilling to the floor. She suspects that you expect her to show devotion by washing them for you. The moment you mention the discipline aspect, therefore, she may say that she expects that at age five, your son or daughter should learn how to hand-wash his/her own underwear; as she says this she looks meaningfully at your laundry basket.

She will underline, too, that your son when he is of age will not play football when he has assignments to do. For example, if he is sent to grind pepper, he should not put the family’s food in a corner to play football to his heart’s desire.

You may sound too harsh to him and when he argues, explain that children are eager to do adult’s work at that age; washing one item at a time is not too much and besides they are guided. When they have to rinse so many times, they learn to use minimal soap. But do not leave it as a surprise when he has to see his baby concentrating so much to get his clothes clean with his little hands, it is heart wrenching. But they learn and see it as fun when they play with soap and water.

You may also remind him that if they are not taught early, children may regard such tasks as mummy’s and for older people. They may develop the habit of discarding clothes carelessly for you to pick up. He learns to take care of his things and be appreciative of people’s efforts when he knows that washing is not easy.

Discuss baby’s diet; should you give formula with breast milk? The two of you are in it, so get his opinion on what food is best for the baby. If he hasn’t any, it means that he is of the school of thought that thinks that a woman knows best what to give her child.

Baby Or Me?
Most fathers would prefer that their children do not cry at all. However, your union may be in for trouble if you pay too much attention to a crying baby because he thinks that you are making a fuss over nothing. Agree when you should carry a crying baby and say sorry before that child is even born. It sounds funny, but this could tear you apart.

If he is of the opinion that baby should be left to cry and go to sleep, mention that you could never bear it because children who are left to cry for so long make think that parenthood is no fun. Give him reasons why you think that children cry because they need attention; one of them being that he could say that he is hungry because he is unable to express himself. A child who wails may feel unwell, although he does not know where he hurts.

Assure him that caring for a child needs not bring friction; add that you will check to see that he does not fret unnecessarily.Then get daddy to promise that he would pay equal attention to baby too.

Share Parenting Tasks Together
I know a man who washes his children’s clothes while the wife does the cooking; he cooks for them when she is out. For some people, raising children is not easy. If you think that your better half is coping nicely, praise her and tell her why you think she or he is wonderful.

When he is not learning fast enough, don’t scream at him in front of the baby; even a few months-old reacts to your angry voices and would cry. So wait until you are out of his presence to sort your issues out. However, it may be best to show him how to do what you want in a calmer tone until he learns.


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Parenting


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