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The conversation – Part 1


Bruno: As a first time visitor I am impressed by the city of Lagos. Press reports gave the impression that the country is at war with itself!

Ayo: Don’t mind journalists. Bad news sells their papers. Wait till you get to Abuja; that’s our architectural masterpiece.
Bruno: Really?

Ayo: Yes; it’s a modern city with well-paved roads and all


Bruno: Does it have twenty-four hours’ power supply?

Ayo: Not yet; we are working on it. You see, some governments in the past did not get things right.
Bruno: What about rail travel because I notice there is not much of rail transport in Lagos.

Ayo: We are seriously working on it. Right now you can travel from Abuja to Kaduna by train.

Bruno: That reminds me; what’s this talk about officials travelling by train to Kaduna because the roads are not safe?

Ayo: I’m afraid that’s another exaggeration. It is true that hoodlums attack travelers sometimes along that long route. But it’s not that bad.

Musa: My friend, stop spewing government propaganda. I’ve been quiet since just listening to the official lies coming from your fat mouth…

Ayo: Excuse me you little rat, are you insulting me?

Musa: Are you insulting the intelligence of Nigerians telling those obvious lies?

Ayo: What lies? What lies have I told?

Musa: Abuja-Kaduna road is a death trap. The government must do something to stop kidnapping and killing on that route!

Ayo: But efforts are on-going..

Musa: What did the president say to President Jonathan when there were attacks and security breaches? He called Jonathan incompetent! Does that not apply to him now?

Ayo: The situation is different!

Bruno: Let’s take it easy gentlemen. Its not easy to contain an insurgency. Even the Americans have not been able to deal with the sporadic acts of violence in Afghanistan.

Musa: Nigeria is not Afghanistan, very different situations.

Bruno: Guerilla warfare is a different kettle of fish!

Musa: Pot of fish or kettle of water I don’t care. Just deal with the problem and stop the killings!

Ayo: Please educate this unpatriotic moron

Musa: You are the low-life stinking sycophant; you’ve always been a sycophant and will remain one for the rest of your damned life. Say the truth. Nigerians die every day from needless violence yet the government sends soldiers to rig elections instead of fighting the enemy!

Bruno: Did you say soldiers rigged elections?

Musa: Is that news to you Mr. Foreigner? Where have you been? The moon?

Bruno: We read things; yes we do. But being on the ground and getting a firsthand report is a different matter.

Musa: It’s a different kettle of fish ba?

Ayo: Elections are rigged all over the world; it’s the degree of infraction that matters. Even President Donald Trump is still smarting from the allegation that the Russians helped him to win the presidential elections.

Bruno: Who rigged the elections?

Ayo: Great question!

Musa: The two major parties supported by some small ones rigged the elections in different degrees like hell.

Ayo: Do you have any proof?

Musa: The proof is in the evidence. Look at the governorship results in Kano, Bauchi and Adamawa. What do they suggest to you?

Ayo: What do they suggest? The President did not interfere!

Musa: They tried to do it in Rivers State where Amaechi is a sworn enemy to the incumbent governor. But Wike matched them brawn for brawn, thuggery for thuggery and money for money.

Ayo: You are asserting without proof.

Musa: Just wait till Abubakar Atiku provides all the evidence in court! Aso Rock will be shaken to its foundations.

Ayo: Atiku? Hahahahahaha! Now I see where this man is coming from. He is a supporter of the defeated PDP presidential candidate Alhaji Abubakar Atiku, the ex-Customs officer, now a billionaire, who promised to sell off the nation’s petroleum refineries to his friends. I don’t intend to continue this conversation.

Bruno: Why?

Musa: He can’t stand the truth.

Ayo: Truth? I can’t stand your fake truth!

Musa: You are the promoter of fake truth. Atiku never promised to sell NNPC. He only said he would privatize it and make its operations more open. That corporation is currently being run like a private company in the hands of a vicious cabal. The Minister of State is handicapped; he doesn’t know a thing about how the place is organized…

Ayo: That’s how the PDP government ran it. Why dint you guys change it during your inglorious days in power?
Bruno: But the new government promised to change things. Shouldn’t they do things differently?

Musa: Please ask him. This change must change.

Ayo: The Nigerian people have rejected your PDP shenanigans!

Musa: Yet we won about the same number of states as your party did!

Ayo: Your rigging machine is very powerful.

Musa: The way you guys rigged the elections in Osun State! Do you think that charade will stand?

Ayo: Let the courts decide.

Bruno: I am happy that we can still engage in arguments and go to the courts for arbitration. This whole thing must not degenerate into chaos.

Musa: We are already chaotic; can’t get worse. The way human beings are killed across the country right now is scary and annoying.

Ayo: The President himself has expressed concern it pains him terribly.

Musa: He should go beyond expressing concern: he should stop the killings.

Ayo: You speak as if there is a magic wand within his control!

Bruno: There is no magic wand really; perhaps the military should change tactics. And the current high command should go and let’s new and competent hands.

Ayo: The president appreciates loyalty and hard work. He is not going to fire anybody because of public calls. He has the full information and will act appropriately.

Bruno: In the modern world leaders have to respond promptly. Social media has changed news creation and dissemination.

Ayo: Are you suggesting we should have a tweeting Nigerian president?
Bruno: Far from it…

Musa: Prompt reaction is crucial. Remember how we roasted President Jonathan over his slow reaction to the Chibok girls’ matter?

Ayo: Did you criticize him too?

Musa: Of course I did.

Ayo: May be you were in the opposition at the time!

Musa: That is why I am different. I fire shots at any leader who sleeps while the nation burns.

Ayo: I am going away before you fire shots at me too!

Musa: Bye!

In this article:
The conversation
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