The Emperor of Japan

The following year, the world fell to the emperor of china or japan japanchina. The controversy of japan being China or China being japan is beyond the ambiance of this story large as it is and deep as you can imagine. Soon after the world peace meeting the emperor of China found the world flat and defeated at his feet. To begin with, to celebrate the victory of japanchina seven days of revelry was declared. Parcels of noodle were delivered around the world through ram hand to hand delivery. Rice wine was supplied. No local food or beverages were allowed.

This would fuel future freedom fighting but this is the honey moon period when the slave dreams that his new master would be kinder than the previous one. There was no work during those seven days. Surveillance was there but nobody noticed. This was because something the Japanese had brought into global existence through noodles: such self satisfaction that you are not interested in any thing outside of you. After the celebration, the emperor spoke to the world at different times in different tongues.

“(WORLD CITIZENS, YOUR EMPEROR GREETS YOU. THIS IS AN EMPIRE THAT EMBRACES THE WHOLE WORLD. IT MAY BEAR JAPAN OR CHINA BUT IT IS THE WORLD NOT JAPAN AND CHINA. I GREET YOU AND BRING THE FOLLOWING NEWS: from today go, breakfast and lunch will be taken courtesy of the emperor. Throughout the world all citizens, rich or poor must eat breakfast and lunch at the behest of the emperor.

As for dinner every world citizen must provide for himself and herself.
This is my global message. The new dawn salutes world citizens, the most contented citizens of world history.”

Japanchina took expertise from everywhere in the world. For instance the wizardry of lunch distribution in Indian cities was globalised and ram hand to hand to mouth adopted the method. Thus, global distribution challenge was solved and resolved. And the world was at peace. This was important.

The world was at peace. At least everyone has two square meals a day. Well, that was the point. Why not tutu/koukou (tous repeated)1 include dinner? After all dinner was as important as breakfast and even more so than breakfast. Why can’t the emperor provide dinner for his citizens?

Every day, how strange the days had become, everyday conversation revolved around the challenge of the evening meal. For some it became an image of failure since there’s something to eat morning and afternoon. But in the evening of their lives, they do not have something to feed themselves and their families.

But for Europeans in spite of the wiping out of all boundaries so that nobody borders the global citizen, (it is in the global constitution NOBODY ANYWHERE BORDERS THE GLOBAL CITIZEN but Europeans complained that being fed is an insult to their human rights. In spite of laws forbidding the use of local foods and drinks the global citizens of the United States of America, those of Canada and Europe undermined the emperor. The emperor was not happy. And what do you do to appease an unhappy emperor. Why would the small matter of evening meal cause war in the peace loving, peace exuding environment? Okay as from now the emperor feeds everybody morning, noon and night.

What shall we do to make you understand that our orders cannot be contravened? We will ignore you. You are allowed to complain. You can organise protests which will be supervised by the police and the secret service. You can write books which our thriving publishing companies will publish to the economic benefit of the empire. Your British empire was the one on which the sun never set. Ours is an empire where there is no night or day, 24/7 empire, you hear?

Instructions were sent to all capitals and district office globally that those who go on hunger strike should have their dinners preserved in the freezers because when they finish their hunger strike they must eat the portions they missed which can be warmed up for them. And as soon as they finish eating that portion, they can resume the new ones.

Globally, the challenge of the evening meal confronted intellectuals, geniuses, and activists. The answer to that question is the beginning of the revolution with which the government of the emperor of japanchina will be toppled over.

Researchers went to traditional tales. How did ancient systems force change when people were tired of the system? Outcome of their researches was that the presence of robots makes ancient answers inapplicable. Robots do everything for you. All you do is eat and make yourself available wherever you need to be to get what you need. Or what you want. And if you don’t get the particular thing you want, all you do is call forth a robot and instruct it and in no time at all you get what you want. For this you must obey the emperor of chinajapan.

When working people complained that robots would take their jobs, they never factored in the possibility that robots would also supply all their needs. This makes it unnecessary for them to work. If the purpose of work is to be able to put bread on the table, clothes on the back of the family and a roof over our heads and the emperor provides all these, what else do we want?

In the rich areas of town (the emperor is still looking for equalizing formula that makes a rich man and woman poorer than he was and a poor man richer than she was) robots were stationed to attend to the needs of everybody. Like the young couple walking their ten dogs and making a mess, there is a robot following them and picking up the mess. The street keeps its pristine cleanness and the young couple enjoy their walk.

At home we have robot servants who would do anything we want, anything. So, for the first time in history, a government was not only ready to feed its billions of citizens from China through India, Europe to Africa and the Americas plus the nooks and crannies of the Caribbean islands, but ready to spoon feed them.

That is why the emperor could not believe that there were global citizens who were not satisfied with things in the empire and are grumbling. There are grumble robots who would attend to their particular grumbles. But most of the time they tell the robots not to worry! Because robots don’t understand that a life without challenge is living death.

bankole.omotoso@elizadeuniversity.edu.ng