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What do I really want in life?

By Lanre Olusola
03 February 2022   |   1:57 am
There are a lot of people who don’t have issues with setting goals and achieving them, but they are so clueless as to what they want. Some know what they want but don’t know how to set goals to get what they want. What a paradox or is it an oxymoron? Well, you decide. Many…

Lanre Olusola

There are a lot of people who don’t have issues with setting goals and achieving them, but they are so clueless as to what they want.
Some know what they want but don’t know how to set goals to get what they want.

What a paradox or is it an oxymoron?
Well, you decide.
Many people who fall into the former category, know and focus most of their time on what they don’t want, what they shouldn’t do, what they can’t or shouldn’t have and all that kind of stuff.
It is very hard to determine what they want when they keep focusing on the things that they don’t want.

Do you know that “Focus creates blindness”?

If you turn to focus on an object behind you, you will be blind to the object in front of you. If you turn around to focus on an object in front of you, you will be blind to that previous object that you saw behind you. The big question is this, “What are you focusing on”?

Many people just don’t have an idea of what they really want. To deal with this, you may have to take some time out to explore yourself. You want to make sure that you invest some time to sit down and begin from where you are, get a note pad and pen and write down all the things that you don’t want.
List them one by one.
Then ask yourself why exactly you don’t want these things.

What is it that is the opposite of each of these things that you don’t want?

Write down the positive opposites of them.
For example; If you don’t want a husband that emotionally, psychologically, financially and physical abuses you, Write all these down.

So, ask yourself instead:
What kind of man is the opposite of this kind of man? How does he behave? What are the things that this kind of man does? Who is a model of this kind of man? Then start writing these qualities and behaviours down and refine them until they all resonate with you.
This exercise will give you some sort of direction with your life.

Also look at the things that are absent in your life, that make you feel sad and incomplete and ask what are those things that will give you a sense of completeness in the short, medium and long term.
Would I like a family?
What kind of family?
Is this within my control?
What can I have that is within my control now?
What do I need to start doing in the direction of what I want?
Would I like to have a six-figure pay cheque?
Why do I really want this?

What is it that I truly desire?
You will have to do a lot of soul searching in order to find your own truth.
You will also need to determine who and what you are living your life for.

Are you always wanting everyone to like and accept you?
If yes then most of what you will be setting goals around, will be inclined towards certain people liking you.
Take a note pad and pen and do a list of the things you want and why you want each of them.
Is it for you or is it for your parents, spouse, children, friends, society, social media, etc?
The truth about life is that you can’t live your life to please others.
It’s impossible to please everyone, you will end up displeasing and hurting yourself.
You will find that friends and family have an image that they want you to obtain.
They will keep putting pressure on you until you fit into their mould.
When you figure this out, and take charge of the driving seat of your own life, you will free yourself from trouble, stress and pressure.

Once you do these then you’re ready for the goal setting process.
Never start setting goals without first going through this exercise.

So, as you prepare for A New Beginning, A New You, and A New Life in 2022, I urge you to take some time to do this very important exercise, so that you can begin the journey to living your dream life.
When you become successful these same friends and family will be the ones to celebrate you and benefit from your success, so ultimately when you take your destiny in your own hands, set goals for yourself, achieve them, the people who you need to like you, will have no choice but to like this new successful, calm, happy, satisfied and fulfilled version of you.

There are a lot of possibilities out there to explore when it comes to your future life and career.
If you would really like to make a difference in your life, then you will have to take control of your life and explore life on your own terms.

You have to give yourself the chance to make a difference in the way that you see life generally.
Take some time to explore the things that you are really interested in and the things that make you happy.
Explore, discover and develop your hidden talent, gifts, passion and skills.
Start to consider the things that mean the most to you right now and then learn how to build on your current skills and interests so that you can build a good, solid future.

Even though this process may take some time, it will be well worth it in the long run.
The most important part of this exercise is that you will take back command of your life.


I am The Catalyst, Lanre Olusola.
I Transform Lives By Transforming Minds.
Follow me on all my social media @lanreolusola for more transformative content.

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