Positive fear in our children

Charles Ighele

There is hardly anything created in this world that does not possess fear. The animals crossing the road fear the cars and avoid them as best as they can; the ones in the jungle fear the lion and tremble as it roars. Even a human being with his/her high level of intelligence has fears. Why is this so?

God put fear or reverence in the hearts of everything He created. Not the fear that makes us live in terror and imprisonment, but the fear that makes us respect rules. For example, we fear God hence we keep His commandments.


Those who possess no fear have no boundaries or inhibitions. They are people answerable to no one. In every healthy relationship, there must be boundaries that govern acceptable and unacceptable behaviours. The fear of crossing these boundaries and consequences is what keeps one in check.

We should not only train our children to reverence only the more powerful people, but everyone around them. People only fear those who possess authority and power, hence children love to say to each other, “show me your power.” We have come across homes where the children do not have fear for the parents. There are no boundaries and even when boundaries are put in place, there are no consequences to those who pass those boundaries.

Children like to dare authority, which is why when you tell a toddler, “don’t touch that,” he/she will deliberately do the exact opposite of what you barred just to dare you and to test the boundaries. If as a parent you do nothing about that incident, you have dropped a chunk of your authority and that child has lost a measure of fear and respect toward you.

If your child of a few years possesses no reverence toward you, he/she will definitely grow without any atom of respect for you, for the society and the rule of law.

Let us as parents ensure that we put this positive fear in our children to help them grow into responsible and respectful adults. This will have a positive impact on our society and nation as a whole and by extension the world. Love you!

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