11 Signs That He Might Be Having An Affair
When news of Sandra Bullock’s husband’s infidelity surfaced, just days after she gave him a shout-out during her Oscar acceptance speech for The Blind Side, she seemed…well, blindsided. The truth is, few straying men come home covered in lipstick stains and reeking of another woman’s perfume. While the signs are rarely that obvious, if you’re willing to look, they’re almost always there, according to Danine Manette, private investigator and author of Ultimate Betrayal. So how do you know whether all the Hollywood cheating scandals are making you paranoid or if your partner’s actually in the arms of another woman? Check out some changes in behavior that could mean he’s looking for love elsewhere.
1. Sudden Changes In His Appearance
If your husband starts transforming into a different man, it may be more than a mid-life crisis, warns Manette. “A man who drastically alters his clothing style, appearance or body shape for no apparent reason may be having an affair. Perhaps the other woman has suggested he grow a beard, wear his hair differently or use cologne. If he’s dressing differently for work, there may be a coworker he’s trying to impress.” Likewise, if your lifelong couch-potato spouse suddenly becomes a gym rat, it may not be you that he’s trying to impress. “He may be trying to look good for a new love interest or keep up physically with a younger woman. Or perhaps the other woman works or works out at the gym he’s showing a sudden interest in going to,” explains Manette.
2. His Attitude Towards You Dramatically Changes
Changes in his mood can point to more than just stressful times at work. “Men often get fidgety or irritable when they’re supposed to be in two places at once. If the other woman demands more of his time, he may start arguments with you so he can storm out and rendezvous with her,” says Manette. If he’s not only picking fights, but also criticizing you for things that hadn’t bothered him before, like your appearance, eating habits or intelligence, it’s probably not about the way you chew your food or the 5 pounds you’ve gained, but really about another woman. “Cheating creates a lot of internal turmoil and tension, which gets played out between the two of you. Plus, in order to cheat on someone, you have to be focused on what you don’t like about her. By making that loud and clear, he feels more justified in cheating and less guilty,” explains Jennifer Oikle, PhD, psychologist, dating coach and founder of MySoulmateSolution.com.
3. He’s Become Distant
“Emotional distance is the number-one giveaway of infidelity, because it’s hard to be emotionally invested in two people at once and to be emotionally intimate with someone while you betray her trust. Most people simply can’t handle the guilt of cheating, so they create space. Plus, distance creates a shield, protecting him from detection—if he doesn’t say much, he’s less likely to say something incriminating,” explains Dr. Oikle.
TO BE CONTINUED
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