Yesterday, March 21, would have been the 69th birthday of my beloved mother, Dame Dr. Felicia Ngozi Onyeabo (KSG, LSM). As it is our family custom, she would have been feted to nice family party to herald her 70th birthday. We earnestly waited to celebrate her 70th milestone age with great pomp. But it pleased the Lord to call her a few months after her 68th birthday. The date was November 29, 2024 and the place Enugu State. We all sat behind her white coffin and listened with forlorn faces, the homily of John Cardinal Onaiyekan, Archbishop Emeritus of Abuja.
The evening before, he had celebrated the wake keep mass in my village, Amaodudo, Ugbawka, with deep words of consolation. But it was for the funeral mass that he had cut his trip to Portugal for.
Eulogising before the capacity-filled St James Catholic Church, Ugbawka, John Cardinal Onaiyekan, shared his last testament to my mother, a great woman of many parts. As I celebrate posthumously her 69th birthday, I have the kind permission of the Cardinal to share with a wider audience excerpt of his homily.
Introduction:
Early this year, I celebrated my 80th birthday, with a lot of generous and loving participation by family and friends. The celebration was so grand that I felt that I was receiving my farewell party from this world. After all, the bible says that the sum of our years is 70, and 80 for those who are strong. After attaining the strong age of 80, I had no illusion about having many more years ahead of me.
A few weeks after the general celebrations, Dame Felicia Onyeabo rolled out an elaborate 80th birthday celebration for me in my Domus Pacis private chapel, along with many illustrious members of the Catholic Women Organisation (CWO). On that occasion, she read out a wonderful tribute to me on my 80th Birthday, so moving that I felt that I was hearing my funeral oration, somehow in advance. Little did I know that it will be me to now deliver a funeral homily for my dear daughter, Felly Onyeabo. Everything goes according to God’s plans, and his time is the best. May the soul of Felicia rest in perfect peace. Amen.
Since the news of her death broke, and the reality of her passing on into eternal glory sunk into our minds and hearts, we have been hearing so many good things about her life. What more is there to say? The scripture readings of this mass, so well selected, have put us in the right spiritual mood as we send off to paradise a great woman of faith, handmaid of the Lord and faithful servant of the Church of God. Please take good note of the Gospel reading from Mathew 25. It is a very familiar reading, but it is also a most challenging exhortation for each and everyone of us. We are reminded of the last judgement, when the Lord will reward everyone according to his or her action to the neighbour while here on earth. Whatever we did or did not do to our neighbours, will be held for or against us by the Great Judge and Lord of the Universe. In a nation like Nigeria, rampant with impunity, let no one deceive himself or herself that one can get away from God’s just judgement. The sooner we repent and change heart, the better.
Let me now add my own few words of commendation in honour of our departed sister in Christ. Felly was a model family woman: wife, mother and grandmother. As a wife, she was a loving, faithful and dedicated spouse to her onwa, Chief, Sir Rex Onyeabo. This has been clear to me since I got to know them soon after my arrival in Abuja as Co-adjutor Bishop of Abuja in 1990. I believe that many other people too have seen the same in them. Felly took seriously and literally the marriage vows she pronounced as a young bride to Rex about 40 years ago: to love, cherish and be faithful until death. Even now with death, I believe that her Onwa has not – and will not – recover from the love, dedication and fidelity of his now late Lolo Felicia – until his own time comes to answer the inevitable call of death.
Dear Onwa, let your firm faith in the resurrection and the promised crown of glory be your consolation in this period of deep bereavement and loss.
Dear Rex, you can also count on God’s abundant favour to you for the firm support you always gave to your dear wife Felicia. She was a great and gifted woman, who excelled in her high-level service to God and humanity.
In her service to God, she put all her talents at the service of God in the Church, especially in the Catholic Women’s Organisation, where she rose in leadership from diocesan, provincial, national to global levels. This is a rare feat given to very few. Her being recommended for and conferred with a papal honour of Dame of Pope Gregory the Great was more than well deserved.
In her service to humanity and to the nation, especially as a civil servant in the Ministry of Finance, she excelled in dedication in the midst of generally lousy government performance. She also excelled in honesty and integrity in an environment notorious for corruption and dishonesty. She was often in a position to “make” – or is it steal? – millions and billions. But she stood steadfast to her basic Christian principles and human values of “honesty as the best policy” in all her achievements and successes, both in the Church and in government – until her meritorious retirement from service. If ours were a nation that values integrity, she would have been given a befitting “national honours”. Thank God, her reward is sure in heaven.
Most commendable and significant is that Felly admirably combined her dedication to God with her commitment to public service as a senior civil servant. In this, she is a model to many of our Catholics in high office who give the erroneous impression that it is a matter of “either/or”. Felly has shown how to do what Jesus said: “Give to Caesar what is Caesars’s and to God what is God’s. And of course, there should be no debate about whose claims take priority, God’s or Caesar’s. In fact, the more we serve God, the more Caesar is well served. God has no rival!!
Similarly note-worthy is the fact that in all her achievements and successes, both in the Church and in government, onwa was always a firm pillar of support. He is not one of those husbands who see the progress of their wives as a danger to their own dignity as the “Ogah in the house”. In this regard, permit me to relate an anecdote that took place some years ago. It was among a group of Church leaders in which Mrs Onyeabo had become very well known. Chief Onyeabo came around and I decided to introduce him to the group. I innocently told them: “Excellencies, here is Rex, the husband of Mrs Onyeabo”. He immediately corrected me, politely but firmly saying: “I am Chief Rex Onyeabo. Mrs Felicia Onyeabo is my wife”. I learnt my lesson and never made that same mistake any more.
When, for some good reasons, Mrs Onyeabo was recommended for and conferred with the papal honour of Dame of Pope Gregory the Great, I never heard of any grumbling on his side. After all, he is still Chief Onyeabo – and Dame Onyeabo is his wife!!! I have no doubt that St. Peter will take due notice of this when Rex himself lands at the Gate of Paradise, where to welcome him would be Dame Onyeabo, his darling wife.
Felly was not only a faithful wife but a loving mother – and grandmother. The result of her mothering efforts can be seen from the caliber of children, male and female, she has left behind. It is my sacred duty, on an occasion like this, to exhort all of them to emulate the good character of their mother and pass it on to their own children too. Times may be changing, but certain values and principles remain ever valid.
The last months of the life of Felicia here on earth were characterised by serious health challenges and even pains, bourn with resignation and faith in God. We can safely say that she has served her purgatory already. Furthermore, she had plenty of opportunity to prepare herself for the end that she saw coming. The Lord has surely given her the grace of a holy death, the kind that we all should be praying for. May her soul rest in perfect peace. Amen.
Let me conclude this homily from where I started it, with reference to the lavish tribute thar Felicia read to me on my 80th birthday. The document had three unequal parts; a brief background, a long list of items for gratitude, and a short concluding prayer. I will now repeat the same prayer for her, replacing my name with her own, as follows.
My prayer is that God’s bounteous investment to the Church and to the World, Dame Felicia Onyeabo, would now at the end of her days, relish in God’s mercy and love. Her judgement, therefore, would be a formality. God himself would throw the Gate of Heaven open for His extraordinary investment, to be ushered in by the procession of the Choirs of Angels, led by the Blessed Virgin Mary, to the Beatific Vision of the Most Holy Trinity, with guaranteed sainthood shortly after.
Glory and praise be to the Almighty God for his wisdom in making Dame Felicia Onyeabo his investment in the church and the world. This her fervent prayer for me I now make my own for her as we bid her farewell to paradise.
I thank +John Cardinal Onaiyekan, for his consolation and support as we paid our last respects, as well as the numerous friends and family, who came from near and far to pay last respects to my great Mother. I envision her in heaven celebrating with the saints triumphants, particularly her dear friend, the Blessed Virgin Mary. Do continue to pray for us all Mum. I wish Dame Dr Felicia Ngozi Onyeabo “Felly” a Happy Birthday in heaven!
