Wednesday, 1st December 2021
<To guardian.ng
Search
Breaking News:

Teeth 4 teeth

By Justin Akpovi-Esade
13 November 2021   |   2:54 am
Anytime Afro pop artiste Burna Boy wants to trend on and offline, he tends to do it the wrong way. Some weeks ago, he woke up on the wrong side of his bed

Burna Boy | Image: Getty Images

And Burna Boy Goofed Again!
Anytime Afro pop artiste Burna Boy wants to trend on and offline, he tends to do it the wrong way. 

Some weeks ago, he woke up on the wrong side of his bed, to say that “all Nigerians” smoke Cannabis popular called ‘Indian hemp’, and so government should legalise it. Expectedly, he got the bashing of his life. 

And just this week, perhaps after a very big dose of what he had been canvassing government to legalise, he made a very childish and ridiculous claim that he was “offered millions of dollars by African politicians to stop singing the truth.” What?

T4T was monitoring the thread where the claim was posted online and you needed to see the bashing Burna Boy got. Trust this generation of very angry young Nigerians; they practically tore the singer apart. T4T was wondering what ‘truth’ Burna Boy has been singing that made African politicians to gather and decided to offer him “millions of dollars” to stop. At first, T4T wanted to laugh after reading the claim again, but then, there was no need to waste his precious laughter on it. 

However, this message is for anybody that knows anybody who knows Burna Boy. Stop taking that ‘thing’ wey you say ‘all’ Nigerians dey take so, the ‘thing’ don dey use style dey worry you. 
Like Burna Boy, Like

Vice President Osinbajo
WHOEVER advised Nigeria’s Vice President, Prof Yemi Osinbajo (SAN) to grant audience to a group that called itself Association of Skit Makers at the State House, recently does not like him. 

Even if Osibanjo is scheming to be president of Nigeria after his boss, President Muhammadu Buhari leaves office in 2023, there are better ways to go about it than inviting a group of angry kids who just last year led the charge behind their electronic devices with Twitter apps and instigated many to cause the biggest violence this country has witnessed after the unfortunate civil war in 1967; in the name of #EndSARS protests.

Now, these children, a year after, have not relented. They have maintained the tempo using their comedy skits to cause further disaffection among citizens of this country. And these are the people Osinbajo decided to play host to! 

Don’t get T4T wrong. As a leader, one always makes an attempt to pacify dissenting voices and convert them to Patriots, but in some cases, the die hard are left alone because no matter what you do, they will never change.

And Osinbajo learnt the hard way that he should have just let the sleeping dog to do what it knows how to do best.

The young folks came out of the meeting and ‘apologised’ to their fellow ‘Soro Soke’ youths for visiting the Vice President. Can you beat that?

One of them, Taooma or so was streaking online days after the meeting regaling all with how she was on an espionage mission to Aso Rock, but the mission was aborted as her phones were taken from her at one of the security checks, if not, she had planned to lambast the VP on video and post it online. Come and see how she was being hailed on Social Media as the best Undercover CIA agent America had not yet discovered.

Dear Osinbajo, sebi your eye don clear now abi? Nor worry, kwantinu (in Baba Buhari’s voice), nor be president you wan be abi? Next time, na agbero under Oshodi bridge for Lagos you go invite. Sha keep all bottles from the venue of the meeting. You know what I mean.

How Osinbajo Turned Mr Macaroni
Into ‘Mega Star’ 

T4T and other Nigerians woke up to the series of interviews granted by one Mr Macaroni; people say he produces and stars in comedy skits. Well, T4T nor really sabi am save for say na #EndSARS ‘activist’ he be.

In the interviews, Macaroni took Vice President Yemi Osinbajo and the government of Nigeria to the cleaners. He gave reasons why he ‘rejected’ the invitation by Osinbajo to join the Association of Skit Makers to visit him in Aso Rock. Macaroni was on fire for days, moving from one newspaper to the other granting interviews upandan. In fact, he instantly became a mega star; even people wey produce the vaccine for COVID-19 virus nor shine reach am. He was being hailed as the latest Fela who had nothing to do with government all his life as an activist and musician. Nice one bro.

What Macaroni and his Skit Makers refused to tell the world was that they actually sent a letter to the VP seeking his audience. But since it was now an avenue for them to SHINE in the media and rub rotten tomatoes on the face of government, that part was conveniently edited from the whole story.

Anyway, thank you oga VP, at least, you don give Macaroni another chance to enter newspaper since the next #EndSARS Lekki ‘massacre’ memorial na next year October and e still far. Na Lekki ‘massacre’ the young man take turn to star, now you don turn am to mega star.

Never Knew This Yoruba Actor
Had ‘It’ Too

T4T, as usual, was enjoying a Yoruba movie on Pay TV earlier in the week. Titled Bogiri Olanu, it featured one of the genre’s popular stars, Lateef Adedimeji.

There was this scene where Adedimeji was talking to his wife in the movie: “I don’t understand your hangar”, he said. What was that? It took some seconds before the nickel dropped. The dude actually did not understand the wife’s anger, not ‘HANGAR’. 

Well, I always advise Yoruba actors, please stick to Yoruba language only. That is why it is called YORUBA movie. Leave Oyinbo language for Oyinbo pipu, biko!

In this article