Character traits of fraudsters
The moment I spot any of these traits, I immediately start playing my cards defensibly- making it a point to keep such a person far, far away from whatever I do.
One, people who ask for something before first offering to help you in some way. Every great connection I have had in business and career has manifested away from this way of being.
Once a person is asking for remuneration without work, steer clear of him. There isn’t a single person from my network of helpers who doesn’t operate from my philosophy of offering work first before remuneration.
In fact I wrote for The Guardian for more than a year before being paid for my columns. The joy is in seeing my name in print, not the money accruing from it.
The second character trait of fraudsters is that, they don’t always give you the full story. They won’t give you the accurate particulars of their background or the extent of their skills.
If you listen closely, which you must, you can tell when a person is purposefully withholding details of certain situations. And if you watch long enough, you will start to realize why: they have things they want to hide. These aren’t the people you want to trust.
Three, people who steal; I once had a great friend at Ijegun,a suburb of Lagos. I thought he adored me for my creative problem solving proclivities.
Until I paid him a surprise visit one evening only to find my long missing stapler, books and a mouse of my desktop computer.
He had been hindering me rather than being a loyal and faithful friend. I even saw more.
I immediately cut off the relationship. No questions asked. As a writer, there are few things in life more infuriating than seeing someone put their name on your work.
Four: People who get jealous of your success. As you continue to grow, especially if you begin to achieve fame and recognition, you will start to see the true colour of those you hang out with.
In each chapter of my life, I have made and lost friends. The ones I have lost, suddenly felt threatened by the things I was achieving, no matter how much I encouraged by my generosity.
A foe argued himself hoarse over the veracity of my being a published author. It was not until I showed him a copy and googled it through an ipad that he believed. He never showed up again at our usual cafe.
The friends that I have kept and there are many of them; are those who are happy with the trailblazing lifestyle we are pursuing.
A few weeks ago, I got a call from a reader of my blog in Italy. He is teaching economics there and was seeking a clarification over Nigeria’s economic and growth plan. I obliged him with the information he asked for. He is happy that we’re able to be of service to Nigerians in the diaspora. That is a real friend.
Finally, people who blame others for their lack of success or happiness belong to that class of people likely to hinder you in life. They hate successful people around them. If there is one thing I pay attention to in others, it is how they talk about their lives. That their current situation is the result of someone else, that is a red flag. If they blame other people for their shortcomings, that’s a red flag.
If they struggle to admit their own faults that’s a red flag. These people are leeches. The happier you become the more they prey on you.
The more successful you become, the more jealous they will feel. They live in a constant state of playing victim. Life is happening to them and there is nothing they can do about it; which makes it the fault of others.
I have learned the hard way not to allow these kinds of people into my life. You should do the same, you should avoid them like the plague.
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