‘For Every Woman, The Home Should Be Priority’
Dr. (Mrs.) Taiwo Toyin Ambali is wife of the Vice-Chancellor of University of Ilorin, Prof. AbdulGaniyu Ambali. She is an educationist and an academic by profession.
AS she welcomed visitors who had come to see her husband for one request or another to their home, one could not but testify to her kind disposition and notice the ease with which she struck a fine balance between her domestic responsibilities and public commitments as the wife of the ninth Vice-Chancellor of the University of Ilorin, Prof. AbdulGaniyu Ambali. An educationist and an academic by profession, Dr. (Mrs.) Taiwo Toyin Ambali recently transferred her services from the University of Maiduguri to the University of Ilorin.
Her matronly figure as she gracefully ambles her way through the tastefully furnished sitting room of her home, demonstrates her devotion and total commitment to the wellbeing of her family. For her, the home comes first and in her opinion, “women must create time for the home and create plenty of time for the children especially.”
She added: “I know as women, we have a lot of social outings, but your home comes first. As the Yorubas will say, omo to ba da, ti baba e ni, that is, if a child is successful, he or she belongs to the father, but if it is otherwise, it is mother that people will point accusing fingers to. Therefore, you have to create the time to plan and to be able to manage your home as a career woman.
“I know it may not be easy, but with God on your side nothing is impossible. And as the children are growing up, try to involve them in your homework whether boy or girl; involve them so that the burden will not be only on you. That way, they are learning.”
Ambali who is a mother of two boys and a girl, reveals: “I tell my children, especially the boys that if you help your wives at home, there is nothing bad in it, there is nothing wrong. The family is yours, the children she is bringing in are yours; she didn’t bring any child when she was coming in, and I always tell them there is nothing wrong if they help their wives at home because my husband used to do that for me when he had the time and take care of the children.
“This is why I like teaching because it gives you enough time to come back home much earlier than your husband and you have enough time to see to what the children are doing at home. Whenever they are going astray, you correct them and then you watch the friends they are moving with. If you study the group they move with, you will be able to advise them and to know whether your children can move with them or not, but as much as possible, we have to create time for home”.
As an educationist who presently has to her credit 11 publications in the field of Adult Education, Community Development and Social Welfare, she quite agrees that the standard of education in the country is falling.
“The kind of training teachers were given in those days was different from what they are being given now. Those days, you were not the only one that corrects your child; even people within your area will correct your child for you if he is doing something wrong. All these things we do not have them now but just like I have said, the kind of training given to teachers in those days is different from what we are having now.
“We need more infrastructures and we need more trained teachers. When we say trained teachers, training the children morally not in academics only, because these are part of what is affecting the society.”
For Ambali, leadership is a position of privileged opportunity and this is why she cherishes the cooperation members of the academic community are giving her hubby as the helmsman of the University of Ilorin. She discloses: “My husband wants to take the university to the highest level. I know people have been very supportive and I must confess to you that I am very impressed because this is somebody that is coming from another university. I want them to continue to give him that one 100 percent support.
“I am happy for him because this is what he has been looking for the past 10 years, and there is nothing else to say, other than to thank God, and to keep praying for him, but it has not been easy. A lot has changed, and one thing that I am happy about is God is giving him the strength to carry on. But for us in the house and especially for me, it took me time before I could adjust.
“Like last Thursday, he left home saying he is going to the office, and just about two hours after, his Personal Assistant called me that I should prepare his box and put one or two clothes, that he is travelling to Abuja. It has always been like that.
“Sometimes you want to share your day, you want to share your food just like you have been doing before but before you know it, that person is not there. Sometimes, he comes back home, and by the time you say ekaabo, he has slept off. It’s like he is no more with you in the house because he is concentrating on the office; but I am very happy that he has reached that stage he wanted, the stage he’s been aspiring for the past 10 years and he finally got it”.
Recalling how she met her would-be husband in 1976 in Maiduguri, Borno State, she said: “I was on holiday with my late sister, that was how we met. The whole thing started not immediately anyway because initially he was acting like a brother. My sister and I used to call him ‘brother’, so when this relationship came in now… somebody I have been calling brother before, how do I … but you know everything is destiny. Even when the relationship started, I still saw him as a big brother, anytime I called on him. However, my late sister encouraged it and my uncle who is still alive and still resides in Maiduguri, sees many qualities that he admires about my husband.
“He is very quiet but not quietness in the sense that he is stupid; and if you offend him, he doesn’t react immediately.”
While noting that her husband tended not to excuse a repetition after about two or three times before he reacts, she points out: “But don’t upset him. You will hate to see his reaction. However, he is a very calm person, very loving, caring and very supportive. If you ask him for something, he will not tell you yes or no, that’s why people find it difficult to know where he belongs to but the kind of response he gives if you watch him carefully, then you will know the direction that he is going”.
On her husband’s likes and dislikes, she has this to say: “My husband likes a very neat environment; very moderate home and rooms. He likes you being honest and he does not like anybody that tells lies; that is the greatest thing you can do to offend him. He wonders why you should tell lies and once you do that with him, you can never get him again. He likes amala with ewedu and gbegiri soup very much. I don’t know whether it’s because he grew up in Ilorin.”
On her philosophy about life, she confesses: “I believe in destiny. I believe in whatever God says you will be, you will be; it is just a matter of time. Just like I have said from the example of my husband, it took him 10 years to get to his present position; twice he came for interview. This was the third time and he got it; he never gave up. He has a focus and with prayers, Insha Allah, one will reach his desired destination. It’s just a matter of time.”
Hajia Ambali favours classic colours like coffee and cream and loves to dress in simple and moderate outfits but dislikes extravagant appearance.
Born on July 10, 1958, Hajia Ambali who hails from Kwara State was born in Zaria. She attended Jebba Teachers’ College, Jebba for her Teachers’ Grade Two Certificate from 1975-1980. She obtained a Bachelor of Education degree in Adult Education from the University of Maiduguri in 1996, a Masters and a Ph.D in Adult Education from the same university between 2003 and 2014.
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1 Comments
Well said Madam, well said.
We will review and take appropriate action.