I need direction
I have been reading a lot of threads here for weeks now and even though I am a bit scared to post, I have decided to share my story with the hope of finding someone to talk to and getting some helpful advice.
I am married with two kids and made some terrible decisions. I got into a relationship with another married man (he also has two kids).
Two weeks after the first time we were together, I found out I was pregnant (I was on the pill). When I told him, he said: “We will figure it out.” He talked about “our five kids” and where we would live.
I was so emotional during the first 13 weeks and went along with his idea that we should wait and do a paternity test once the baby is born. He has always claimed that if it is “ours,” he wants to be there for his baby.
I know I am a horrible person and I hate myself for it. I never thought I could do something like this. I have had great pregnancies, but this one, I have just been depressed and haven’t gained any weight (I am 18 weeks now).
I am going to do counselling because I now know that there had to be something wrong with me to be able to make such choices when I had a great marriage already.
As much as I know, it will devastate my husband. I am going to tell him because he deserves to know for many obvious reasons that I was not able to see before.
I tried to come clean before, but he convinced me not to, saying “why should we tell if we aren’t sure who the dad is yet?” I know, stupid of me. His wife is the one that pays the bills, the house is in her name and they are building a new house.
He made sure I knew he had everything to lose if I opened my mouth, so I felt guilty and kept quiet. He is not planning on telling his wife unless he finds out the baby is his.
I have read mixed feelings on whether one should tell the wife or leave it up to him. I am fine with telling her if it is the right thing to do. I just don’t want to make things worse if it is not my place, especially when I am not 100 per cent sure if it is his or my husband’s.
Get the latest news delivered straight to your inbox every day of the week. Stay informed with the Guardian’s leading coverage of Nigerian and world news, business, technology and sports.
0 Comments
We will review and take appropriate action.