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Is He Serious About You?

By Kemi Amushan
02 May 2015   |   9:14 am
When you first start seeing a new guy you really like, it can be so exciting. But dating also comes with stress, I am sure you know that. You might feel anxious not knowing when you will see or hear from him again.


When you first start seeing a new guy you really like, it can be so exciting. But dating also comes with stress, I am sure you know that. You might feel anxious not knowing when you will see or hear from him again. Dating requires a balancing act to keep your emotions stable until you start to feel more secure.

What helps is to know how a man who wants lasting love and relationship should treat you. A surprising number of people don’t know what to watch out for to discover whether or not he’s serious. Before I really started dating again, Being on the outside allowed me see the issues more easily.

When my female friends tell me about their new man and how it’s going, I listen carefully. There are distinct signs if you know what to watch for. I’m not asking you to be hyper vigilant so you’ll start expecting the worst. With this kind of knowledge, you’ll save yourself weeks or sometimes months of hanging on when a man clearly cannot deliver on your dreams of love.

I will share with you on how to know when he’s not serious or he’s not relationship material. Even if there are things you absolutely adore about this man, he’s not the right guy for you and if you encounter any of these three problems.
He Puts Off Dates Into The Future

This is a man you’ve probably had at least one date with. After that he’ll text you regularly or talk on the phone. But he’s just so busy he can’t get together right now. So he puts you off into the future when at some point, he will have time.

The solution to this is, don’t fall for this nonsense. You can’t date a man who doesn’t have time to date. Texting, emailing, skyping or phone calls are not a replacement for real live dates. This type of behavior has been around a long time and its’ called “Stringing you along”. Don’t bother trying to figure out why he’s doing this. His reasons don’t actually matter. My advice for women in this situation is to drop him immediately and move on. He is definitely not relationship material.

He Tells You He’s Not Looking for a Relationship

Some men will come right on and tell you on a first date they are not looking for a relationship, but they would still like to see you. What does that mean? He’s looking for something casual without expectations that relationships require. Sadly, many women think, “He doesn’t mean that about me”. Let me tell you, yes he does. Countless single women waste time on men who were honest from the word go, but they chose to ignore his warning. The solution to this is that when a man tells you he doesn’t want a relationship, please believe him! Don’t think that somehow you are going to be the exception to his decision. He is admitting he’s not relationship material so take him at his word and move on.

He Doesn’t Keep His Promises
This is the kind of man that says the nicest things. He makes plans and knows all the things a woman like you wants to hear. Too bad he doesn’t keep his promises like telling you he’ll call Wednesday night but doesn’t call till Friday. He promises to take you to a nice restaurant, then can’t afford it this week or feels like having icecream. He seems so sweet but he’s not a man of his word.

The solution to that my dear ladies is that, Women have a tendency to give a man the benefit of the doubt and this is actually a good quality. But it needs limits. When the man you are dating constantly breaks his promises and is full of excuses, he is showing you he cannot keep his word. Either he is incapable or doesn’t respect you enough. Either way, this is not the behavior of a man ready for a long-term, loving relationship. Your best course of action is to move on.

I want you to ask yourself these questions. Can you change these behaviors? I have even asked myself this question and if I am to give you an answer, I would hate to break this to you, but you cannot make a man do anything. He has to want to treat you well all on his own. There is absolutely nothing you can do to change him so please do not try. That will bring you only heartache and arguments.

If you start to see any of these three signs or notice others that make you wonder, be honest with yourself. He’s probably not the right man for you. I’m not saying these men are innately “bad”. Of course not! But they don’t have the same ideas about being in a relationship as you do and that will lead to your dissatisfaction and unhappiness.

If this describes your situation in the first six weeks of dating, please walk away. Then look for a man who makes time to see you and keeps his word. That will be a guy with the true potential for the love you dream of.

To our happiness. Cheers.