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Let’s talk about it

By Sam Umukoro
16 October 2021   |   2:40 am
This Saturday, we will depart from our usual conversation; I want to talk about everything and nothing. I want us to discuss beautiful untrue things; let’s make a load of fuss over nothing

Netflix | Unsplash

This Saturday, we will depart from our usual conversation; I want to talk about everything and nothing. I want us to discuss beautiful untrue things; let’s make a load of fuss over nothing. Let’s celebrate rubbish and put it on a pedestal. I want to escape into a reality where people don’t play games with their lives by selling their inalienable rights.

I am not a shrink and cannot explain the growing bandwagon to amplify a campaign to live miserably. I don’t want to discuss innovation, ideas or policies that would lead to development. No, not today!

This week, let us discuss matters of the heart; a recurring decimal and one topic that continues to occupy the front burner of discourse. As they say in the local parlance: Man and Woman matter – the major preoccupation of many. Big Brother is over, now we can return to regular programming.

But again, who am I to judge anybody? Perhaps it is a way to protect their mental health, a means of survival, an alternate reality. They want a world where events unfold differently, an escape to fantasy to protect themselves; a coping mechanism used by many abused victims. The safety and comfort of their fantasy world, a preferred option and good survival strategy in a Hobbesian state of nature.

Many people are in dire straights and they would do anything to survive like the characters in the dystopian series Squid Games, currently number one on Netflix around the world. In the South Korean drama series, hundreds of debt-ridden contestants sign up to compete in games for a cash prize of 45.6 billion Won (about £28m). However, if you lose, you get killed. It is a bloody game, but despite the violence and bloodshed, the series has drawn one hundred and eleven million fans since its debut according to the streaming service. 

A Dubai-based Korean Cultural Center has announced that they will be organising an event featuring the games played in the popular drama series. According to the report, the event, which will take place in KCC’s office in Abu Dhabi, will involve children’s games that are played in the series, but without violence.

I hope somebody in Nigeria is not thinking of starting the games, you know how our people like to copy – especially anything that brings money.

Anyway, living in certain places has become an extreme sport. For instance, one cannot begin to examine the daily survival games of people living in that city of aquatic splendour. The bustling lunacy, the bus driver who drives recklessly to earn a buck, the traffic official who jumps on a bus like a stuntman in a movie just to arrest an offender: he is not doing this out of love for the job, or a commitment to duty, but for him, it is an opportunity to fleece, to make that extra buck. 

I digress; forgive me. We are not here to examine the daily squid games in the society, orchestrated by the mighty and powerful for their pleasure and entertainment, we are here to discuss man and woman matter; who is sleeping with who? Why hotels in Lekki are always fully booked; relationship breakups and makeups; couples fighting dirty on social media… that is the kind of ‘pandora box’ we want to open. We prefer sleazy scandals and gossips; soap operas that make us forget momentarily that life has become solitary, nasty, brutish and short.

By the way, has anybody seen the most sought after sex tape? Really is it for real or a PR stunt? But seriously, why do people record themselves “in za oza room?” Is it for pleasure or to review performance? Or is it to see the look on their faces during climax? Please any expert in the house? These are important issues of urgent national importance.

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