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‘Fiancé Left Me After 10 Years Because She Cheated On Me. Advice Please’



MY fiancé left me five days ago after a 10-year relationship. We met while at school and since then have gone through university, moved in together, bought a flat together and more recently got engaged. 

   However last month she asked for a break so that she could find herself, which I understood due to starting our relationship so young and reluctantly accepted. But a couple of hours after leaving, she asked me to come back home, which I did. Then five days ago she went to her parents and after talking, decided she wanted to leave me as she claimed to be unhappy. I was devastated as I love her truly and she is my best friend and fiancé. 

     Then two days ago I realized her logic didn’t stack up and there must have been a catalyst (we are both very happy and have been). She confessed then that four years into our relationship she was into S&M and met someone on a website who she spoke to for five months online and met up with for two ‘play sessions’ (tying up, touching etc).

      Apparently there was no sex or anything just touching. Then the next day she tells me (after promising me that there was no one after and there had been no sex or kissing) that before the guy mentioned, that she had met up with seven other men for coffee one of which tied her up and had intercourse and *****. Each of these times involved a hotel room and overnight stay. What stopped her apparently was my dad dying but it still took her a number of months to end the relationship/online conversations with these men despite this (my father died in his forties and I was very young).

     This was six years ago but it hurts like hell. I thought she was so nice and thought that she loved me. I think she really does now and if she could get over her S&M compulsion/guilt, maybe she would get back with me. However, I don’t know what to think, I have never cheated in our 10-year relationship or even come close. I gave her everything I had and she has betrayed me and accepted the engagement. The horrible thing is that she wouldn’t have told me about all of this had I not sensed something and pressed her on it. Plus there is more and more that I have found out (she was trying to avoid telling me about the second guy etc). 

  What do you make of the situation? Am I to blame? What should I do? I am hurting so much right now.

Advice: Please dear readers mail your comments, reactions or true love stories, quiz  or personal experience u wish to share to this email:  simonclar 

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