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Should I move on or, get a divorce ?

By Simon Egbo
05 October 2019   |   3:35 am
I was married last year October. I was very sure that she would be only one for life. We had been dating for six years and we lived for two years before we got married.

I was married last year October. I was very sure that she would be only one for life. We had been dating for six years and we lived for two years before we got married. In the past three months, I noticed my marriage was failing. I didn’t know exactly what was wrong. I thought it was stress. We bought a house together, built a new business, and got married within one year. So I thought the stress was making her crazy.

One day, in June of this year, she told me she wanted a divorce. It was so shocking to me and I couldn’t believe it! It was not six months into the marriage. I thought we were just having personality differences, but she told me she had been dealing with this problem for a long time. She said she couldn’t take care of me anymore and that I was not helpful, not capable, among others. I was so shocked that I couldn’t understand why she wanted to quit. I told her I would change and be a better husband. She cried and said she would not come back even if I became a perfect husband. She said she had given me too many chances.

I told her I would visit a marriage counsellor. She said there was no point in trying to save the relationship anymore but I convinced her and she agreed to go for counseling. It was a three-day counselling and for the first two days, she kept telling me how bad I was. I thought it would be easy and that we could get back together. At the end of the second day, she said she was unhappy that I discussed our relationship with her best friend.

On third day, she finally confessed about her sexual relationship with my best friend, John. I was heartbroken. The worst is that the counsellor made her confess how many times they had sex, where, and how. I sat down there and heard all. They had first sex on my bed and my home.

I still was stupid enough to love her. I was being friendly to her and trying to treat her nice so she would come back.

As I was coming back from counselling, while in the airplane, I was watching movie and in that movie, there was a part where two people were having sex in the car, and it triggered my memory I heard from counselling that my wife and my best friend had sex in the car and I started to have anxiety attack.

As soon as airplane landed, I was running to go outside because I wanted to grab air, and when I got outside, she asked me: “All our friends are going to the club tonight. Can I go?” I thought she was nuts wanting to have a party at a time I was having an anxiety attack, and I knew John was going to be there. I thought it was the most horrible thing that she did and she didn’t seem to care how I feel.

After all this, I kept my mouth shut for two weeks and finally one day, she told me: “I was thinking it will be good for us if John could work with us in our business.”

That was it! For me, I realised that she was not trying to leave me, but she was trying to kill me. So, I told her: “You know you are trying to kill me, I am a human being. You had sex with my best friend and now you want me to work with him?”

I spoke with my friends about what happened and they were shock and wondered how I could keep my mouth shut for two weeks. I also found out that my wife was telling all my friends that: “My husband is going crazy, he think I am having an affair with John. How dare he think like that? John is his best friend.”

All my friends stopped calling me because they thought I was mad. But when I told them the truth, they knew it was true, because some of them had seen them together shopping.

Now, I told John’s wife about it and she suspected something was going on. What is happening right now is that John told my wife he wanted to work on his marriage and he didn’t want to ever see her again, and she broke down into tears.

I think divorcing her and moving on with my life is the best choice for me at this point. But I cannot help that I still have feelings for her. It is sad!

So, my question is: What shall I do? Move on with my life and divorce her as soon as possible (ASAP) or have some time to think about all this for a while? Any responses?

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