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RE-‘Am I Being Selfish?’


HELrelationship 1LO Simon. I read this story and I just knew I had to comment to give this lady some advice. Dear anonymous, Before I say anything, I just want to remind you that you took a vow in the presence of God, so you’re in a covenant relationship with your husband and God.

It’s very easy to assume that the grass is greener at the other side of the fence, but in reality it is not. I know you feel this new guy is the ‘Mr right’ you ought to have married, but according to you, you met him a few months ago, so you hardly know him! You’re engaging in an extra marital affair and because it’s like partaking in forbidden fruit, it feels very intense and of course, you would feel all those feelings you feel for this guy.

It’s normal to feel overwhelmingly attracted to a person in the first few months of dating. That’s usually the time both parties are at their most romantic and you feel like you’re walking on air! Add to it the spice of a forbidden relationship and the result would be what you’re feeling. Have you even stopped to ask yourself what sort of man will go after a married woman?

That sort of man has no respect for the woman or the institution of marriage, and don’t expect him to develop that overnight after he marries you. Secondly, he may just be having a good time himself, enjoying the thrill of bedding a married woman, and may not be thinking along the same lines you’re thinking.

If I was not a Christian I would have advised you to let the thrill of an extramarital affair die down before you can decide whether to leave your husband, but I can’t give you that advice. My advice is: do not hurt your husband over a fling. And remember your marriage vows. Even if you leave your husband and marry this other man, the shadow of your infidelity will hang over you. And you would never fully trust this new man, and that’s the worst foundation to build your marriage.

Instead, try and speak to your husband about how you feel, and if there are things to do to spice up your relationship, try them all. Actually, the crazy in love people talk about so much, isn’t love, it’s lust, and it reaches its peak and then crashes. Be wise and don’t take a step you will regret for the rest of your life. Plus you admitted you have a sweet caring husband. Be grateful for that, because most women are not that lucky. Ogedengbe Abosede

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