RE- ‘Emotionless Sex And No Affection From My Husband’
I and a friend actually discussed this scenario this morning and while I argued that as long as you are married you are, not getting enough sex and affection is quite a dilemma we sometimes find ourselves.
I would have loved to go deeper but that would be re-visiting your past which I am of the opinion that it doesn’t matter now. For the sex part, I think it is high time you get to know how to satisfy yourself, orgasm doesn’t have to be through the penetration of your man, there are varying materials at your disposal. Read more and get the necessary tools. As for the affection, create time to visit friends, take your kids out, do what you love doing and just move on.
Finally, as much as the temptation is high, remember sex outside your home could create an eternal damage, the shame of which might be too hard to face.
I have also been in such kind of relationship situation for a while I was married for nine years, and I thought I could work with it as well. As a matter of fact, I am still working with it. When I mention it, he says that it only matters that we connect on a spiritual level and that sex isn’t important. Amazing huh? The person without the issue wants to reduce the importance. I too have looked at myself, I have even started working on things I don’t like about myself to occupy my time to keep from turning back to self-pleasure that was making me resent him. I am 35, busy, and still seeking the deeper, more emotional intimate encounters.
I even tried to get him to understand that for me it’s not even the frequency as much as the quality of the encounters. I used to be more of an initiator, but he said that was intimidating and that I was too aggressive and oversexed! I backed off for a while, right back in the same place, not backing down again. I refused to settle, especially if this is suppose to be my life partner. Not acceptable.
Ultimately, I think that while we pray, we have to keep speaking. I have tried and even tried coming down to that twice to four times a month level. It is HARD, and I don’t think that we should have to go like this for whatever reason. I actually think counseling and a male perspective could help.