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Re: Is it my past haunting me?

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Young black couple feeling sad after arguing on sofa at home.

There’s only one way to move forward,and that is to talk to them honestly about how you feel.

Meeting them for dinner with the sole aim of tabling what you perceive to be your humiliation is a good start. Say that you are always happy to laugh about old times together, but that they were private moments, among the three of you.

It is like an inappropriate wedding speech,when the Best Man starts listing off all the women in the room the groom has slept with. It is just not cool. It is a difficult conversation to have, as you don’t want them to feel like you are trying to sanitise your past or denying it even happened.

Be open to their perspective too and ready for an emotional purge. Testing the true building blocks of friendship- truth, honesty,respect and being there for each other-would determine whether or not they are lifers or simply too stuck on ‘old you.’

There is also an argument to embrace your best bits and just be honest with your boyfriend. You did it, you have moved on and you cannot change the past. Anyone who commits to any form of social strategy, flinging themselves so vigorously at the endgame is far more interesting than the majority of sheep who sit by the sidelines and snigger.

At the end of your days, you would look back and howl. As best-selling author, J.K.Rowling, says: “Some failure in life is inevitable. It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all,in which case, you fail by default.”

Advice: Dear readers, mail your comments,reactions or true love stories, quiz or personal experiences you wish to share to:simonclar@yahoo.com. For marriage counselling, call Simon on07032944123.


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