Sex and Love Making
“Let the husband render unto his wife due benevolence; and likewise also the wife unto the husband,” 1 Corinthians 7 vs 1-2
If marriage was given to restrain our human sexual appetite and rightly contain it, why do we have so many people being unfaithful? Why do we go about saying, ‘man is polygamous’ or ‘women are promiscuous?’
Many times, I have heard people say they are not compatible with someone based on sexual appetites and preferences.
And I hope to share a few tips that might help us achieve the sexual satisfaction we seek in our marriages.
Some are based on the wrong perception we have had about sex and how it helps in marriage.
Sex is not a sin. Sex in its own is an expression of our gender, personality, desires, thoughts, experiences and affection.
When we dress and go out, we express our sexuality. We don’t need to be in folds with someone to be sexual. We are already sexual in our make-up.
The creator made us so with a lot of distinctions in individuals. We need then to understand our sexuality and improve on it.
In marriage, sex is important. In fact, sex is one major reason why lots of people marry, especially those in the Christian faith or some other religions or moral upbringing.
Don’t get into marriage without preparing for a lifetime of sexual engagement with your spouse. In fact, you prepare your body and mind for sex as you think of marrying or you “fall in love.”
Those who do not consider this will be doing a lot of damage to the relationship.
Sex in marriage is not the same with the ones we have outside it. The Bible refers to anyone you sleep with outside marriage as “strange.” In fact, every sex without the marriage bond is seen as ‘stolen waters.’ It might be sweet, but it is slippery and very risky.
Sex in marriage is far above the ones you ever had. The sexual relationship in marriage “selfish.” We do not engage our spouse in sex because we are on ‘heat’ or we are ‘horny’ and want to ease out. We, in sex, render “due benevolence” to our spouses. It is something we give, not what we grab.
Calling your spouse your property that you can use at anytime becomes an abuse. Rather, you recognise the importance of your spouse and offer the best of yourself to him.
You should never turn down your spouse approach for sex, except for health reason, and you must be polite about it.
Never use sex as a weapon for revenge or withdraw it to prove a point. You must think of the benefit of that sexual bond to wellbeing of your spouse and offer yourself in the best way.
There is no need to ‘try others,’ even when the fleshy cravings demand so.
Your spouse is all you will ever need for a satisfaction intimacy. Sizes may matter in other issues, but in sex, it is all in the mind.
Size of penis, built, boobs or what have you cannot determine the level of your satisfaction. If you accept your spouse, appreciate him or her as a gift from God, you will definitely enjoy your relationship. In fact, if your act of sex is to please each other, there is no height of pleasure you can’t reach.
There are sex positions and timings that favor every person with their peculiarities.
I have heard so much about ‘tough’ love and how it matters in marriage and upbringing. I don’t despise it at all. In fact, we all need a stone for a pillow sometimes. But we have left the part that only us could offer to our spouses and children.
If we don’t, others will and it will spill the goodness you should have in your home and spoil that sweetness you dreamt of on your wedding day. It is called ‘tender love.’
Many of us are nice to our spouses only when we want to have sex with them. Some others have drank so much from movies and porn and now think they should ‘manhandle’ their wives or even husband.
What they actually want to do is to have a ‘hard’ hot sex. But tender love is satisfying and fulfilling.
Some women think their men are manly only when they are harsh, unleashing and inconsiderate. Yet, they seek the comfort of someone who tries to be nice to them. They might be in the marriage for a reason or the other, yet seek the fulfillment of their love dreams elsewhere.
Everybody needs love. And tender love is what our spouses, friends and parents should have in reserve and excess for us.
Be kind, courteous, firm, yet very accommodating. Do your spouse find comfort in your arms, in your words or counsel? Do you know how to sooth their soul pain and strengthen them in moments of weakness?
Sex will mean another ‘one night stand’ until it fulfills that deep desire to be one and complete with someone. It shows even when we make love with our spouses and how we do it.
We must touch our spouses emotionally, spiritually and physically. We must meet at this level if we are to achieve fulfillment, because that is what we are made up of.
Sex is so important that we find ways of making it worth all the sacrifice of marriage with this person. Hug and hold hands often. Send messages, texts or gifts every time. Talk sometimes without being vocal.
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