Take The Leap Into Love
IN looking before we leap, as we must do as of necessity before we choose our life partner, we sometimes miss a good man or woman, as the case may be.
I know that this happens after I have watched a few close friends. One of them, especially who I could call Rose, had the habit of letting everybody know that there is a new man in her life; she does not do that because she wants to show off- as a fact, she could attract the guys more than any girl around.
And she was not asking to be congratulated, because she has never been short of admirers; she just wanted us to know that one of those men we think were just friends had shown the potential to be the one finally.
It was also possible that she wanted to scare off any other girl who would show interest in the same man. But what was clear was that she wanted to make sure she chose correctly.
Our Rose is one who tale bearers sometimes would label a flirt and warned men close to them to not take her seriously.
So, weather she wanted to be careful or show off and prove to people that she was good enough to be proposed to, she certainly took long to make up her mind and her style, I also think, was not so smart either.
She would take a friend to visit the man. “To help me to look at him,” she would say. I visited a guy once with her and gave every excuse not to do it again.
A decent guy he was and he entertained us well. But my friend made obvious the reason why we came. She did not speak much, only answered his questioned in a few words, while she made eyes at me at his every move or pinched me when she saw something she wanted me to observe particularly.
I believe that guy saw through our visit and I felt ashamed. Of course, I was not surprised when the relationship ended.
Her other style was to take somebody to walk by where her new flame is relaxing with his friends. “Look at him…that one…no, the one in white shirt. Don’t look now, he sees us. Well, what do think? She would ask.
If you were there to sneak briefly on him, how could you make the correct assessment? You ought to hear him speak to have an idea, because you were on a fact-finding mission that concerned him.
It is in order to involve other people when you want to choose your partner, but a brief peep into the life of someone you have never met before is not enough to gauge his height of appeal, as one word is enough to make us swoon on behalf of our friend and congratulate her on her good luck.
One word is enough to make us hiss at how her taste is so poor when it comes to choosing her men.
However, our friend’s relationships frizzled out before the anticipated marriage because she wanted to be sure.
Personally, however, I feel two of those relationships that did not succeed would have been better than the one she is in at the moment. She says so, but you should not agree openly with her.
I do agree that we should not rush into a marriage, but I think that we should open our eyes at any time, because the real gem could flow by.
Rose is right to want to know, so look for facts, but do it quietly. Question the right people. All of them may not agree that he is good enough for you, but you may find that more people may think he is worthy of your love.
Be Prepared to Adjust Your Expectations
You know him now, how does what you have dug up affect your feelings towards him? Should you stay with him?
With all you know, you may not be sure of what could still happen in the future. It is normal, therefore, to wonder if you could move to the next level of the relationship, but you only can make the decision yourself. Your friends and family have made their contribution by telling you what they know or have observed when they see you together.
And as you weigh the positive and negative, remember that he has not all the time to wait.