TEETH 4 TEETH … With Justin Akpovi-Esade

And The ‘Grammy’ Award For Best Testimonies Goes To…
When someone tells you in Pidgin English that you “don buy market”, it literally means, you unwittingly invited trouble or unnecessary attention to yourself. What is happening to this Pentecostal church, Lord’s Chosen Charismatic Revival Ministries is akin to it “buying market’ of Nigerians.

And how did the church “buy this market”? Recently when videos of testimonies of miracles by members of how God did wonders in their lives at a crusade surfaced online, it shook not only Nigeria’s foundation but that of the world too. Just when we were still trying to deal with the ridiculous tales of how a Pastor’s ‘spiritual son’ travelled through the toilet to and from one European country to the other, how a Daddy G.O. stopped winter momentarily in the United States because he does not like cold weathers, how another Daddy G.O. drove on an empty tank for a distance of over 200 kilometres etc, we were hit by Lord’s Chosen members with miraculous tales of how an elderly woman confronted four heavily armed robbers, took their ‘AK 27’ rifles and dragged them to the Police; how a lion lifted another up like an ‘eroplane’ and dropped him at a distance and even waved him “bye bye” and how assassins shot at another for two hours and the bullets did not penetrate his body because they all screamed “I am a Chosen”. Different skits, memes and animations have been created by skit makers all in a funny way depicting the ridiculous testimonies. Truly, Lord’s Chosen don ‘buy market’.

Well, T4T is not here to dispute the miracles of God o, far from it, but make all dis church people dey calm down small na, abeg! Anyway, the church has come out to set the records straight. Hear Pastor Chidi Louis, Head of Public Relations and Media. “Nigerians should disregard the fake video and visit our church platform to listen to the complete testimony for better understanding. The woman’s story occurred in a dream, not in reality.

“Don’t believe everything you see on the Internet. Bloggers often edit content to ridicule the work of God. Most of these bloggers are wicked and devilish.”
The question T4T wants to ask here is, when did the church start to call members to the pulpit to tell their dreams? Thought it was only testimonies they come out to narrate to prove the powers of God are real?

Zazzu Vs Mr. Preacher Man
A VIDEO surfaced online some couple of days ago where controversial Afro pop singer, Portable, aka Zazzu, was seen physically and verbally harassing an itinerant preacher for coming to the local pub he owns to preach the word of God. Although all what was said in the video were mainly in Yoruba language, T4T was able to glean from the scenario that Zazzu was not comfortable with the invasion of his business space by the preacher man and a bar where all sorts of things happen for that matter. But then, did Jesus not say he came for the sinners and not the righteous? Yes, he said so in the holy book of the Christians called the Bible, so, presumably, a bar where people smoke, drink and well, do other things, is assumed to be the headquarters of sinners anywhere in the world. Guess, that was why the preacher decided to go and win souls for Christ, in a bar, where ‘sinners’ gather, as directed by Christ.

The reactions of Nigerians over Zazzu’s action were mixed. Some backed him while the very emotional and Christianised ones commanded ‘holy ghost fire’ from heaven to burn his coloured hairs. We are still waiting to see if the hairs are still intact or are now charred.

However, this is how T4T saw it. If a preacher comes to you requesting for a timeout to tell you the message from his God, it is within your rights to reject his move or accept it. A particular Christian sect that carries bag upandan invades T4T’s home regularly, and he politely tells them to try the next compound. While the video did not tell us how the incident actually started, one could guess that what got Zazzu miffed to that point was perhaps the insistence of the preacher to stick around after being told to take a walk. Zazzu owns his bar, he can decide who stays and who leaves, at least, elementary law tells us that, so no matter the good message you believed you have to preach, if you are not welcomed, you are not welcomed and you can’t insist on staying simply because you believe you were sent by your God.

People preaching the word should learn how to respect people’s privacy and space. There are some who go about as early as 5am with a loud PA system waking up the entire neighbourhood. T4T does know how God would be happy with that kind of preacher. The other faith will bellow into a microphone attached to the walls of their worship place at 5:00am everyday. If you are unlucky to live close to one of those worship places like T4T, then, sorry is your name. On Sundays, some people serving their God will tear down the entire neighbourhood with their praise and worship. You dare not complain so as not to be tagged a ‘devil’. Why can’t people serve their God in peace without choking others?
Zazzu has since tearfully apologised to the preacher in another video released on Wednesday. And the man of God has forgiven him. Case closed!