Three Questions To Ask Yourself Before You Hook Up

Getting physical with your crush can be awesome — it’s clear he’s into you, you’re excited to be close, and every nerve in your body is tingly. But afterward, a make out can feel confusing if your head wasn’t in the right place.

Maybe you weren’t ready to go as far as you did, or things have been super-weird between you and the guy ever since, and you’re left thinking: Did I make a mistake? Was he worth it? No matter how it happens, the last thing you want to feel after a hookup is regret.

Ask yourself these questions before anything starts, so you can feel great in the moment and confident afterward.

1. Are you doing it for the right reason? There’s really only one right reason to hook up with a guy because you want to. But there are tons of wrong reasons that probably won’t make you feel great about it the next day: You feel pressured, you think it will get him to like you more (it won’t), your friends are doing it, or you want “more experience.” The better you get at ignoring these outside forces, the more you can listen to what you want.

2. How far are you comfortable going? When you and your crush are all over each other, it can be hard to think straight period, let alone remember the boundaries you set beforehand. So go slowly—it makes for a sexy buildup and gives you time to check in with yourself. If he kisses you and you think “amazing” and want to do more, then you probably won’t have regrets. But if you feel at all uneasy when he starts to go further even if you’re not sure why tell him, “I don’t want to do that just yet.” Any good guy will understand.

3. Can you deal if people find out? You don’t let other people’s opinions control your life, but it’s worth considering how you’d feel if your private hookup somehow went public. Would you be embarrassed? Upset? Of course you don’t want everyone to know the deets, but if the thought of anyone finding out about the guy or what you did together puts you in panic mode, then it’s a bad idea. You deserve a hookup you can feel good about no matter who knows about it.