A tribute to my wife Caroline Ikazoboh
It is hard to accept the death of a loved one, especially when you didn’t have the chance to say goodbye, especially when the deceased was taken so suddenly and so shockingly at the prime of life and most especially when it seems like an irreplaceable part of one’s life is gone.
The grief and pain can be unbearable; you cry a river and your sorrow knows no end.You never really know what it’s like until you are there yourself, but you look to God because he is the only one who can comfort you.
Death and, indeed, a death so sudden and painful like the death of my wife on February 16 (last week Thursday) makes me realise the brevity of life. It brought clearly to the fore the thin line between life and death. We often take life for granted, too much so.
Her death has made me sit down and reflect. It has made me put things in perspective. I am still in a state of shock.Carol and I lived as husband and wife for 40 years, two months and five days. All through this period she was my pillar of support. Our relationship started from our teenage years when both of us were among the three primary school students who won the national UAC scholarship for secondary education.
Carol was my friend, my colleague, my sister, my companion, my partner and my wife.She gave up her career, even though she was more intelligent than I, to support our children and create a happy home for me to make a success of my career. I gave so much time to my profession and less time to her in the last 40 years and she accepted it with equanimity. I always figured that we still have plenty of time ahead of us to catch up after the children and grandchildren are on their own. I wish I could go back in time.
Carol was deeply religious. Though she was an Anglican when we got married, she converted to a Catholic on her own volition and studied the catechism of the church so deeply and was a strong member of the Opus Dei. She gave her life to Christ completely.
She was involved in so many charities anonymously and her last activity on the day she passed on was to go and transfer funds to some of the charities she was sponsoring.Carol, I miss the wonderful plans we made. The memories we shared will never fade.
Having you in my life, was the best dream come true. Since you have left this world, words cannot describe the emptiness inside me. I get so lost without you but I am sure you are with the Lord. You are with angels singing and praising the Almighty whom you served while on earth with all your heart. You can no longer be seen by human eye, but your soul and love that you gave so many will never die.
Since you are with the angels, please we (our children, grandchildren and I) need you as our guide and intercessor in heaven.I wish I could tell myself that you will be back someday and will be back to be with me again. I guess this is the way life goes. God’s Will must be accepted.
I miss a million things, every detail of who you are. I miss your mind, body and soul.I still say I am one lucky man to have been given the gift of you.
There are many things I think I should have done for you. Please forgive me for procrastinating.You taught me so much by your actions in the time we spent together. You taught me the value of a family. You taught me the value of the truest of love.
I know that I should not question God obviously because He knows and has His reasons, but I can’t help constantly asking myself: “ Why did you have to die?” We have a number of dreams we hoped we would realize. You served God fervently. Anyway, God knows best.
I take it you are the best of the roses in the garden and the Almighty wants the best.I know what you will love to hear and see and I will endeavour to always do those things.I wonder if I had lived the way you did, if God would have taken me too.They say only the good die in their prime. Farewell my darling. Good night.