True Story: You can’t eat your cake and have it
I was actually dating this lady from the eastern part of Nigeria.
Immediately after my youth service, barely a year into our relationship, she was then working as a sales rep in one of the business organisation in Balogun Street on Lagos Island and Trade Fare Complex, all of a sudden, she started going home so late that at times she would get home by 10pm.
When I asked her the reason, she would give some flimsy excuses, but I kept mute, because making room for suspicion wasn’t my priority.
Not until when her aunt, who she lived with started accusing me of making her get home late, when in actual sense I know nothing about it.
When I tried advising this lady to stop going home late and that her aunt was accusing me falsely, she would say her aunt was jealous, because she has a serious relationship, which she (her aunt) couldn’t have, as she had been married thrice.
One day, she got home and said she was attending a wedding as part of the bridesmaid and that she was going to spend a night there. I told her not to attend, but she refused.
A few days later, it was discovered that she went to spend a night with a customer. She begged me when she knew I had discovered and I forgave her.
Years later, I started a business for her with my hard earned salary, only for me to discover she has not been going to the business.
Instead, she had been going to the house of a man, who she believed came from abroad.
When I confronted her about it, she disgraced me, insulted me and told me to go to hell. She even got pregnant for him and later terminated the seven-month pregnancy, telling me she made a mistake and that the man had a wife and children and was an occult man.
Now, she calls me a betrayer for being with someone else. I later discovered that she had been sleeping around with men and now she said she wants to get married and that she has changed.
The truth is you cannot eat your cake and have it.
Re- I Need Honest Advice
YOU have the right to dump whoever you want. A relationship of five years and your first, I don’t think you should sacrifice it over the other guy.
While the guy you met online, whom you have known before seven years keeps saying he will treat you like a queen and so on, actions speak louder than words.
If you want my opinion, follow your head, not your heart. Feelings sometimes are deceptive and sometimes it is true.
If I were in your shoes, I will tell the guy I met online that I have a person in my life and I cannot cheat on him, of course, in a nice way.
Guys always take things in a relationship so quickly.
LIKE you wrote, only you can make the decision. The grass isn’t always greener in the long run. But the fun you are looking for may be worth it in the long run.
Don’t settle with your current fella just because it is easy. Yes, you do have to be wary of people you meet on the net, but if this is someone you were once with, you should have known if he is a sincere person or not.
Good luck in whatever you choose to do. You might live to regret your decision, but then, don’t end up regretting the decision you didn’t make for the wrong reasons.
We all chase happiness. Some are lucky and find that by taking a chance.
I READ your story and it is very pathethic, but the solution is with God. Firstly, you must be a Christian yourself. Secondly, pray for him all the time.
Thirdly, watch Emmanuel TV.
Money does not keep marriage together; only God does. I have been married for over 20 years and we both enjoy our marriage. If you get out to marry another man, it will not work.
I am talking to you from experience; do not try it.
-Steve.Advice: Dear readers, mail your comments, reactions or true love stories, quiz or personal experience you wish to share to: email@example.com
For marriage counseling, call Simon on 07032944123.
Get the latest news delivered straight to your inbox every day of the week. Stay informed with the Guardian’s leading coverage of Nigerian and world news, business, technology and sports.