When She Loses Her Job

AT the end of April this year, I could not but overhear a man and a woman’s discussions. They talked about their jobs. What I gathered was that they had both been laid off work on that day-two colleagues at the same workplace they were; that was the much I gathered.

But what interested me most was the loss of job so I turned to look at them and could deduce at once that they were those Broad Street type; yes, their dressing shouted ‘finance institution’

The woman dressed smartly in a shift dress and the leather shoes was of top quality too. I told myself that these were people who must have been well-paid and consoled myself that the severance pay might also not be bad. The man seemed to have confirmed my belief too because not only did he have this smug look of someone who had prepared for the rainy day-he did not look too disappointed; he said that he already has a thriving business which he expects to devote his time to now.

Both acknowledged that at a worst situation that ‘the children would eat’
For all the positivity though, I noticed something akin to shock especially on the woman’s countenance; the man certainly had anger and these reactions should be expected under the circumstances.

From the woman’s statement, I thought that that work environment could not have been called happy; she proved me right when she declared that what “we long expected has happened. We can all now go home.”

So I thought that there ought to be sense of relief but I did not see that at all. All I saw was a woman who one could say may experience the shock of it all later going by the way the words tumbled out of her mouth. I think that anybody who has gone through a redundancy and experienced the pains that come with it should understand that there is always regret. It is not about the loss of income only, you went into that job because you had a dream of making waves in the corporate world it becomes painful if had to quit because you had to leave prematurely. It is doubly painful if you exited because you were sacked- you are therefore likely to see yourself as a failure.

The loss of a job therefore is not the issue but the emotional state it leaves that person. Observes a friend who has been through a retrenchment; “I felt that I was the worst person in the whole world. I felt inferior. This was a place that I practically grew up at; all my friends were there. Although the competition was fierce and betrayal was common, you still had people you confided in. I have worked in other places since that job, but the experience changed my view about the work place”

There is also the story of this woman who evidently lived above her income. Her colleagues thought that she had a husband who spoilt her with the many cars she drove to work. A massive sack in her department revealed the true story. Sadly, however, she lost her relationship because her husband claimed that he did not know what she did at her job.

As I listened to this woman, I felt her uncertainty; this was someone I thought who might have seen her job as whom she is and feels helpless as this job has ended. She received a phone call in between this discussion and explained that it was husband calling. I thought that he was a caring man who could not be with her as she cleared her desk. She is lucky, I though too because he may stand by her at this critical period.

But I have since looked at the issue of the woman losing her job and I think that it should not be waved aside so casually. Women have taken over as providers in many homes these days. With the criticism that have followed the woman’s education and success in the workplace, pressure have also been put on women to not forget matrimony.

Many women have therefore craven in to the pressure to marry and have children-the result is that some women marry some men who earn less than them or some even reach out to those who are unemployed with the belief that their salaries can take care of the families’ needs. Nobody predicted that the economy would dwindle to a state where whole families find it difficult to make a living, but it has happened.

The society may say that a woman who loses her job should stay home and run the family; but this is alright when the man works or has an income. For some women, it may be easy for them to forget because they had never seen the big deal in having a career. They take the loss in their stride and comfortably move on to other things.

But some may take it harder and may not say how badly they feel about it to their other halves: She may feel disappointed because she has seen herself as becoming the CEO one day and had worked herself tired so naturally she feels that she has wasted her time but this is not her problem really; her biggest uncertainty may be that you married her because of her lucrative salary and she may have come to terms with the fact that you still do not love her except for her money.

She would not want to say to you too or how do you want her to put it that she has stayed married to you because she had her fancy job to escape to in the morning and come home late in the evening.

However, show her that you care; ask her how she feels. Before this issue, conversation had been strained between you because she refuses to talk, always saying that ‘you would not understand’.

But your concern now will reveal another side of you. Beware though that your new behavior may cause a torrent of tears; she cries for missed opportunities like those work seminars, the refreshing chat with her friends at work-they are the closest companion we ever have because we spend most of the day at work. Console her; remind her that there is always another job. Help her prepare her CV; discuss business options with her-you know her strength well, point them out to her.