‘You Are Not My Type’
THIS woman came our way once and upset the cart, literally, she was tall and attractive.
Her presence among us was not for more than one hour, but we won’t forget her for some time yet.
I have not, and I know that my minds still remember her as we still debate our reaction to her.
I can still see her in my mind’s eye; coffee coloured, a beautiful and pleasant face; she wore a dark olive coloured skirt suit (corporate), it fitted like a second skin.
The skirt was about two inches above the knee and enhanced long and shapely legs to advantage.
She did come into that restaurant with another woman but I never took notice of her; her friend over shadowed her that much.
A little smile which could be interpreted as flirty, friendly, played around her lips. Personally, I interpreted as saying ‘look everyone; I am used to being stared at looking good is no big deal.’ And I think it is this attitude that made her friend comfortable in her company for there was no hint of envy or jealousy in her chatty attitude towards her.
But I think that the smile and the confident way she looked around, quietly acknowledging the approval of fellow women warmed the women towards her. I noticed that the men reacted differently; some with hostility and some obviously calculating how to meet her.
One man went over to chat with her to the annoyance of one of his friends. When we made fun of him as being totally smitten, he explained that he tried to get acquainted, “I would not mind a relationship, if she is available but I would settle for a simple friendship”, he explained.
We did not hear her reply, she maintained that same tolerant smile.
But his friend in telling him off said that this obviously career successful woman who was attractive to the bargain was not within the reach of his middle executive friend, “why bother to chat her up?”, he fumed, and added;. “She is not your type”, he exclaimed.
A lot of questions came, but the same old issue of who is exactly whose type in any relationship, we tried to unravel. I know that even friendship between two women have ended because one of them became ashamed to be seen with a onetime best friend because of a change in fortune.
Women especially have lost the opportunity for great friendships with men because they do not represent the image of whom they could fall in love with.
Admittedly many men botch it because of their approach of the man of ‘I the man, you the woman’. But a woman should learn how to say no without hurting someone’s feelings It is difficult alright; a man you have known for a long time and harbor no romantic ideas about begins to adopt the role of a lover towards you.
But an aunt says that men are like that. She told of how an abjectly poor man who had nothing but his academic brilliance going for him would pompously tell them that he had eyes only for the most beautiful and expensive girl at the campus, the other women were below him, he like said.
But men insist it is a woman’s thing. One man narrates how he used to joke with a teenage neighbour until the day he told him that he would marry her. “She surprised me the next day by behaving with hostility”, he said.
However, you can choose your type of person in a love relationship as those admirable qualities are what will give you joy; even when you are opposites, you choose because you admire them.
It should be said however that when we talk about “our type” that it hardly goes beyond the depth of the skin- good looks, good dress sense, erudition and fluency of speech, these attributes you can find in your colleagues at work or boss; lucky are you if your object of attraction have all them.
And be mindful though that while they make him a great show man who makes you proud outside the home, but is good you at home? You can decide who your type of person is, but it may not be until you have known him well.
Mr. Expensive Suit may have only tor his own needs and the state of his shoes may come before your health concerns.
So mousy neighbor, Brother John professes love out of the blues; total shock admittedly and coming from a source you had considered safe!
But do not make fun of the situation or act rudely. He would forget how you turned him down.
If you think he is serious, threaten to report him to his girlfriend. Manufacture ‘Sister Bisi’, if you have never seen him with any lady.
That way, he knows that a joker like you is his type either.