3 Myths About Relationships
EVERYONE wants to be in a healthy relationship.
While I believe this is entirely possible (Hey! I’m always sharing one tip or the other on how your relationship can be even better), I have noticed that there are certain myths that single people believe about marriage that cause them to end up in relationships that leave so much more to be desired.
So what’s causing this disconnect?
Very simple and short, our mindsets! A lot of us think things about marriage that aren’t realistic. We think it is the beginning of “real life”, we are taught to desire it more than life itself, we are told that we aren’t really living until we are living with a man/woman who is magically responsible for us to live happily forever. Don’t get me wrong, marriage is an awesome establishment, but it is also one that comes with its own set of major problems that can destroy lives if not handled with care.
A lot of marriages are in peril.
We all know at least one couple who just seem to be living in a perpetual state of discord. And who knows, that couple might be you! While there are certainly things you can do to help your marriage along the way, this article is dedicated to every single person out there to help them avoid the pitfalls that lead to an unhealthy relationship.
You do not have to suffer in the future.
So here is a list of three things I hear single people tell me about marriage and how doing these “acts of love” will make them score a perfect mate. Call me a bubble burster, but I rather be that than one who sits on the sidelines and watches you throw your life away.
Don’t do it!
1. We believe that getting married will complete us.
A lot of us watched the movie “Jerry Macguire” where Tom Cruise’s character professes undying love to his girlfriend with the famous line “You complete me!” It all sounds amazing until you delve into the heart of the message. What you are saying by believing this lie, is that you have lived your ENTIRE life as an incomplete being one that isn’t worthy until they “hook up” with someone else. One that needs another to make them feel valued even though their creator says they have been “wonderfully and fearfully created”.
You are complete already!
Never believe otherwise. You do not need to be in a relationship to experience a happy life. No one but you is responsible for your happiness. If you believe otherwise, you end up in desperation and do harmful things like my next point.
2. You have sex with people to “pin” them down in a relationship
I always say that you can’t sleep your way into anyone’s heart. If a man/woman wants to marry you, they will. You can’t convince them with your body. What ends up happening is they have sex with you for as long as they have “access” and the second they see what they really want, they move on. This just can’t be healthy for you. You are a gem! One worthy of so much more! Don’t let anyone defile you just because you so desperately want them to be with you. Even if they marry you, soon enough they’ll be out the ‘window’ looking for other conquests.
Surely, you are worth more than that!
Don’t believe the lie that unless you are with a man/woman, you aren’t complete. Seeing yourself as a half, incomplete being will drive you to do the worst things possible in your bid to look for love. For instance…
3. You settle for bad behavior and hope they’ll change
This is the most dangerous of all lies we tell ourselves. Somehow we have convinced ourselves that we can change traits we see in others that are less than favorable. We say things like “I know he hits me once in a while but I’m praying for him to change” “I am hoping she will stop seeing other men once I get married to her”. Now, when did we take over God’s work? It is solely His responsibility to change humans…He created them remember? Whatever you see your partner do before you marry them, expect a hundred fold once you get married to them. That’s the brutal truth.
So what’s the best thing to do while I search for a mate?
Focus on building yourself! You can’t have a marriage that stands the test of time if you feel like a half-complete, valueless individual. Believing you are less than worthy will attract people who will treat you as less-than-worthy.
Know who you are and whose you are!
I’d love to hear from you, ask your questions, share your views, comment, like and share this article with a loved one who might need it. It’s always better when you share! J
Be confident! Be courageous! Be blessed!
ZeeZee is a certified Relationship and Marriage Coach who believes her purpose in life is to equip couples with the right tools for a successful relationship. Through her website and YouTube channel she shares practical tips and principles that help couples understand the inner workings of a healthy marriage.
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