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Being committed to your loved ones

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Charles Ighele

Commitment shows the level of responsibility someone has to a cause, a person or relationship. It shows your loyalty level. It shows your devotion and dedication. Commitment is bound to take your time and energy. If you fully love your wife, husband, children, father, mother and all those people you refer to as your loved ones, and you are not taking full responsibility, emotional and practical steps to invest into the relationship, I will not see that as full commitment. When the Bible says the man should provide for his household, it is all encompassing. Provision is not only about food, clothes and shelter or education. It also includes all family needs. It includes emotional needs also.

Some people who say they love their families so much and have been doing their best to take care of them have been found to be far from understanding what it takes to be committed to their family. Some of them were never there for the family when they were needed. They never made out time for their spouses and children and when they were asked, they would say they were busy looking for what the family would eat. When you just keep looking for what to eat, you will get back one day and they will see you as a stranger in the house and treat you like one.

One of the dictionary definitions of the word commitment says “being bound emotionally/intellectually to a course of action or to another person/other persons.” From God’s point of view and grammatically, being committed to your spouse and children, therefore, is not just about putting food on the table and paying bills. You have to be there emotionally for your wife, husband, children and all those you call your loved ones. Proverbs 31:27 says, “She looks well to the ways of her household, and eats not the bread of idleness.” Even as she was not idle, she did not ignore her household. Your household should have your time. Your household should enjoy your feelings of love, laughter and loyalty. Set out time for them from your tight schedule and create quality and quantity time out of the time that is available for you to spend outside your work place. It is a powerful way of demonstrating how deep your love is. Jesus, despite His tight schedule, always made out time to be alone with His disciples. As a father or mother, one of your most important duties is how to make your children your disciples. And it is not easy at all to make disciples from afar.

When you make out time for them, you will discover that child needs more encouragement in his/her academics; you will discover that you will make a great companion to your spouse who is lonely in marriage; who is sad in marriage and alone but not supposed to be alone. You will even know the areas your children are weak or strong and help in making adjustments. Your consistent contact with them will also make them open up and confide in you. You will surely find friendship with your family members when you spend time with them discussing with them one on one and collectively. Mingle and giggle with them. Show concern when they have issues in their personal lives and family life. That man/woman who is always available in taking care of his/her family is the committed fellow. Commitment and love should always go together. Any love you think you have for your spouse, children, parents and others you call loved ones and is not backed up by commitment is not deep enough. Therefore, deliberately try to support your love relationships with emotional and practical steps of commitments. Love you.


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Charles Ighele
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