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How to avoid marrying a bad person from a good family


Bishop Charles Ighele

When sometime ago, a young highly educated and well brought up Christian introduced his fiancée to me, it did not take long for me to know that his was the case of a good person marrying from a bad family.

Aside that the family bride price and conditions were beyond the already hard bride price of the community the lady hails from; her family members were already displaying traits of wickedness.

The preparation for the wedding was turbulent. When after the wedding the man could not meet the financial appetite of his wife’s people, they started calling him names. They instigated his wife and anyone that cared against him.


The marriage eventually broke up and they took their daughter home. But it did not end there.

The family went to the extent of secretly sending evil reports about the man to the organisation where he worked so that they would sack him. Wicked, very wicked. This is an example of a good man, who married from a bad family.

Sometime ago, a man closed from work only to get home and discover that his in-laws had invaded his house and forcefully taken his wife and her properties away, just because of a minor marital disagreement.

This was David’s experience in the Bible. He married from a bad family (Saul’s family) and when Saul, his father in-law, had problems with him, his wife Michal was taken away from him.

What I said in a newspaper interview sometime ago is what I will repeat here: Search out his or her family before you say, “I do.” Good people who are married from bad families should disown their families’ wicked ways and start a better generation of good people with their new life partners.

A young man in one of our churches told the pastor he would like to propose marriage to a lady in the same congregation.

When the lady came to find out from the pastor his opinion about her suitor, the pastor made it clear that the final decision was hers. In the congregation, the handsome man was known to speak in tongues and lifting up his hands in worship.


The pastor’s mind was, therefore, secretly in support of the union, but his regenerated human spirit took control. He advised the young lady to search out about the man’s family back in his village.

At some cost, contacts were made by her and her loved ones and it was discovered that the man is from a very good family, a family of people with good manners and respect for others.

But there was a big “BUT” along the line. The man was the bad boy of the family or what people refer to as the “black sheep” of the family. He had no respect for his mother and father and his elder brothers and sisters.

He was an elder unto himself. Family rules and opinions meant nothing to him. In fact, he was the family rebel. He was not accountable to anybody.

Thank God the lady did not allow herself to be deceived by the deceptive holy appearance the brother put up in church. Wise girl. She felt she would be in trouble getting married to a man that was accountable to nobody. She refused to marry the man and a better man later came her way.

In deciding whom to marry, therefore, singles and their family members should not only look at whether the person is from a bad family, they should also carefully find out if it is the case of a bad boy from a good family. Love you.

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