How to handle infidelity in the home: Introduction

The issue of infidelity in the home is not only very serious but also rampant. In our predominantly polygamous African societies, it is assumed that the man is allowed to have extra-marital affairs while frowning at the woman who strays from her marital vows.

Truth be told, these days, both men and women are involved in extra-marital affairs with almost impunity.
What is infidelity?

Infidelity is described as the violation of a couple’s assumed or stated contract regarding emotional and/or sexual exclusivity. It is a state of being unfaithful or having an affair. Synonyms include cheating, straying and adultery.

Some facts about extra-marital affairs that everyone should know!
• Frustration is said to be the number one factor why people cheat on their partners.

• Financial pressure has led many women to indulge in extra-marital affairs in order to make ends meet. This is a common problem nowadays.

• Men are natural hunters, and they find pleasure in being able to “conquer” a woman. In other words, it is the pleasure of being able to conquer and get the attention of a woman that motivates men more than the sexual pleasure itself.

• Most extra-marital affairs occur more at the workplace, where the man or woman spends most of his/her active days with colleagues.

• Many people who end up having extra-marital affairs said they were forced to seek solace in the opposite sex out of deprivation.

• Incompatibility has also been identified as a factor in infidelity.

• Most men are attracted to women by sight. That means the average man is likely to be tempted by what he sees, whereas the average woman will be attracted to a man who shows her care and attention.

• Any one, no matter how anointed, can fall into adultery, if not careful. The temptations are constantly around us.

• The present idea that casual sex is okay and that everybody does it fuels the problem of infidelity.

• Childhood background can also play a part in whether someone will stray or not. If the person carries emotional baggage like abuse, neglect or a parent who cheated, he or she is likely to be unable to maintain a committed relationship.

• Holiness, chastity and godly living are no longer emphasised in our churches and religious meetings.

The first thing to be said about extra-marital affair is that for whatever triggers it, the person who indulges in extra-marital affair is solely responsible for his/her action. It is a decision the person took and a choice he or she made. To blame your partner for making you stray is to beg the issue.

Also, a survey of married people conducted recently in the US showed that over 40 percent agree that infidelity is wrong.

Furthermore, from the word of God, especially the experience of King David, it is clear that infidelity is not accepted in the sight of God. The Bible clearly says: “Thou shall not commit adultery” (the 7th commandment) which is a sin not only against God but against your neighbour and yourself.

In the next article, we shall examine the ramifications of infidelity and how to handle them.

Enquiries: Elshaddai Covenant Church, 7, Social Club Road, Off Charity Road, Abule-Egba. Tel: 08080929292 (Calls only); 08182281184 (WhatsApp messages only).