Evidence of wrong relationship 2019 – Part 15
Lack of compatibility can be a major problem in any relationship. Indeed, it is of one of the common reasons for divorce today. Although it is difficult to find someone who is hundred percent like you in every area, it is actually unnecessary. However, we must think of our compatibility with anyone we choose to marry in some fundamental issues or areas.
Being in a relationship with someone you are not compatible with can be a disaster about to happen. It portends a great danger to the relationship within a very short time. We must consider the issue of compatibility before we say, “I do” to anyone. Trying to manage a relationship with someone you are not compatible with can be evidence of a wrong relationship. We need to consider compatibility in the following areas:
• Spiritual compatibility: The word of God tells us that we must not be unequally yoked together with an unbeliever (2Cor. 6:14). It is incompatibility for a born again child of God to be in a relationship with an unbeliever or someone who is not born again. Even if the person is a mere churchgoer and not serious with God, he or she is not compatible. It is also a lack of compatibility when one is on fire for God and the other party is lukewarm and complacent, when it comes to spiritual matters. Anyone who is dedicated or sold out to God must always trust God for someone who values the things of God. History reveals that the great missionary to India, William Carey, had issues with his marriage because he was a firebrand, but his wife was very lukewarm and uninterested in the things of God. Those who are truly passionate about God must believe God for partners who are also passionate about God. No matter who you are, you will find someone who is compatible with you as a believer. It is not ideal for a very generous person to be married to someone who is extremely stingy. If you are a lover of God and you love to pray, you cannot afford to be in a relationship with someone who has no value for prayers or someone who have no passion for God.
• Education: another area where the issue of compatibility can come up is in education or academic qualifications. That someone is highly educated does not means he or she cannot marry someone who is not as educated him/her. But the person must as well be interested in improving himself self/herself to a certain level. I have seen a professor who married a secondary school graduate, but the lady who was only a secondary school graduate then, eventually became a professor, too. Sometimes, this can be necessary to avoid insecurity, low self-esteem and what have you. It is not advisable to marry someone or be in a relationship with someone who may not be able to relate with you or your friends mentally. However, this may not be just about a certificate.
At times, some people may not necessarily have the certificate but can be exposed mentally, possibly through personal studies and research. I have heard some people talked about sexual compatibilities, but that is not actually necessary as far as the Bible is concerned. The word of God is against premarital sex by whatever disguise according to Hebrews 13:4. We can easily become sexually compatible after the wedding, once there is effective communication or counselling from qualified experts. Another vital area is that of temperament and character generally. But as children of God, we must constantly work on ourselves, so we can work on our temperament and character. Nothing can help us develop a godly character and attitude like God’s Word.
Excerpt from my book “EVIDENCE OF WRONG RELATIONSHIP”
Contact: Everwinning Faith Ministries Int’l
31, Oritse Street, off Awolowo Way, Balogun Bus Stop, Ikeja, Lagos.
Or Everwinning Faith Ministries Int’l
Everwinning Faith Avenue, White sand, Isheri-Osun, (after Ijegun) Lagos.
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