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Helping your spouse to be more romantic


A marriage can grow romantically if it is still very much alive because every living thing grows. Photo: PIXABAY

Between myself and my wife (Carol), people who know us very well know and say that I am more romantic than her. But what they do not know is that I am not only romantic than her, but by far, also more romantic than her. Therefore, I determine the romantic growth of our marriage. Someone may ask: can a marriage grow romantically, especially when people are no longer as young as they used to be? O yes.

A marriage can grow romantically if it is still very much alive because every living thing grows. Many marriages are either dead, dying or are in stagnation romantically. A romantically stagnated marriage does not mean such a marriage is full of quarrels. There may be quarrels or no quarrels. But the holding of hands, the sweet words, the kisses, the holidays, the eating and chilling out, the shopping together and the sexual communication might have stagnated or withered.

I made up my mind early in my marriage that I would deliberately take steps not to allow our romantic flame to stagnate or get quenched.


Since I wedded Carol, over thirty years ago, our romantic flame had stagnated on many occasions. But when it happens, Carol hardly knows until I point it out to her that the fire is quenching, and that we need to do something to make our romantic fire hotter. Because I am the president of our home and self-appointed minister for romance affairs of our marriage, I try to make sure that we keep looking for ways of being romantically attracted to each other. As far as I am concerned, packaging matters a lot.

People are likely to buy a product that is very beautifully packaged, but a little lower in quality than a product that is better in quality but badly packaged. A man of God said many years ago that “beauty attracts,” and each time Carol and I make efforts to work on our clothes and our looks, we get more attracted to each other.


For example, as the minister for romance affairs of our marriage, there was a time I had to take my wife out shopping for the kind of clothes that I felt would make me be more romantically attracted to her. Remember, beauty attracts. Just this week, Carol and I had to discuss the lifestyle being put up by one of us that was capable of having a negative effect on our romance life. We felt discussing it would make us more romantically attracted to each other.

The point I am trying to make all along in this write-up is that the more romantic among couples should try to assume the responsibility of making each other look romantically okay so that their romantic life will not die or stagnate.

From time to time, my wife, the whole family and I go to some private beaches or lagoons, just to enjoy God’s creation. But about a week and some days ago, I wanted to spend a whole day with my wife only at one of these private beaches, as a way of growing our romance lives, but we ended up watching a morally instructive movie in the home of our daughter and her husband. But I am looking forward to when Carol and I will be alone at the beach snacking, strolling, holding hands and just deciding to love each other more and more. Do not allow your romance lives to die or stagnate. Work on it deliberately. Love you.


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