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Hungry husbands should not be angry


Bishop Charles Ighele

Some time ago, a man was furious with his wife. “Why is my food not ready?” he screamed. In another home, a man declared to his wife “I do not joke with my stomach.” Somewhere else, whenever the man found out that his food was not ready, he would sulk and go out to a hotel, eat, come back home frowning and gives the wife the “silent treatment.”

There are cases of some men who may prefer to go to bed hungry because they are angry that the food was not ready on time. Men who adopt this method use it as a weapon to fight back and make their wives feel very guilty. On getting home from work at about 7 pm, a man finds out that his dinner is going to be ready two hours later. Seeing that his dinner is not ready, he goes to the bedroom and announces to the wife that he will not eat again and that he prefers to go to bed hungry and angry. And he carries out the threat. What a bad night for a wife who finds herself in such a situation. I can go on and on writing about how different men behave when their food is not ready.

There is a popular saying that “a hungry man is an angry man.” This saying has gotten so deep into the spirits and feelings of many people that whenever they are hungry, they get angry with the person who caused the hunger. When I was a boy, I used to believe the saying that a hungry man is an angry man. And there were occasions I got angry with my immediate younger sister (now Mrs. Bernice Odudu) for not getting my food ready on time. But I found out that I never got angry with my mother any day if she was the one responsible for the food not being ready on time. I dared not. Because despite the fact that my mother was very loving, she was a disciplinarian.

I have discovered that many people’s anger is mostly directed at those they think they have power over. People tend to direct their anger at those they think they are stronger than. For example, why should I easily get angry with Bernice, when I discovered that she was the source of my hunger, while I would gist and laugh with my mother despite my discovery that she was the source of my hunger? It was simply because I felt I was more powerful than Bernice.

The point I want to make here is that when men see their wives “as being heirs together of the grace of life” (1 peter 3:7) and not just as their cooks and carriers of their children and washers of their clothes, they will not scream, scold and sulk, when their food is not ready. A strong man should be able to handle his feeling of hunger. This was the behaviour Esau put up that cost him his birthright and made a more mature Jacob to spiritually take over the position of the first born. (Gen chapters 27 and 28) As men, when next the food is not ready, we should grow up into the knowledge of the fact that a hungry man is a happily patient man who will happily join hands with the wife to happily make sure that the problem of hunger is happily resolved. That was what I resolved to do when I was getting into marriage. Boy! It has become part of my system. I don’t get angry over food again. Love you.

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