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If your teenage daughter gets pregnant


Charles Ighele

Many years ago, when our first daughter gained admission into the university, my wife and I told her of how we have given her a Christian foundation with which to live her life. We told her not to forget her God and the integrity of the family she is coming from.

We seriously warned her never to mess around with boys and then come back home with a pregnancy. We told her that it would wound our hearts seriously. We told her NEVER to try it. After the stern warning, we then told her that if despite our warning she still gets pregnant, we will still love her and love the baby and care for her and the baby. We made her realise that we will never hate her and the baby.

Many years ago, I wrote an article in a purely Christian magazine, which circulates only among pastors and other Christians about the need for pastors to handle their teenage members who get pregnant with love and care. I wrote that the way some of us treat our pregnant teenage members with disdain is like an army throwing its wounded soldiers back to the enemy to finish them. I wrote that an army carries its wounded for treatment and that we should handle teenagers and others in our midst who are pregnant outside marriage in the same manner. A few pastors were not happy with me. They said that I was encouraging immoral behaviour, among female church members. It happened that the daughter of one of them got impregnated as a teenager and he stopped paying the child’s school fees and ordered her out of his house. Today, that girl is almost a prostitute. She has children for different men without any caring for her and her children.

Some time ago, we registered the NEW LIFE FOR TEENAGE MOTHER’S CENTRE with the Cooperate Affairs Commission. From this centre, we reconcile pregnant teenagers with their families and care for those who were chased away by their parents or too poor to care for themselves and their baby.

A few years ago, a teenager ran to us in tears that she was pregnant. She further said, “my parents will kill me, my pastor will kill me.” We immediately sent for her mother and contacted her pastor. Not to make a short story long, we were able to reconcile mother and child and through the mother to the whole family. It did not take us time to convince her General Overseer about the need for him to pour love now than before on this pregnant teenage mother, who also happened to be a very popular church worker and member of the church.

Some years later, this General Overseer invited me to preach in their church. A very smart lady ushered my team and I into the hall from where the General Overseer welcomed me in. The General Overseer asked me later whether I know the lady who ushered us in. I told him that her face looks familiar. It was then he told me that that is the lady who got pregnant some years earlier over which I made a phone call to pacify him. He said that the lady is now happily married to a very prominent member of the church. O my God! I was so excited to see our fruit of reconciliation. I then asked about the whereabouts of the baby. He told me that the baby is with the father’s family and that she is a very decent wife and committed church member. What else can I say than to tell fathers, mothers, family members and the society that there is life after a mistake. Love you.

In this article:
Bishop Charles Ighele
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