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Increasing your love for your spouse


I have a habit of assessing my level of love for my wife, Carol, because the word of God commanded me, Charles to do so. It says, “Husbands love your wives…” Ephesians 5: 25. Verse 28 goes on to tell me to love her the way I love my own body. This, therefore, makes me carry out what I call love checks on my love thermometer. Whenever I say I am working on my love for my wife, people used to wonder because to them, they see more than enough love between the two of us.

I keep stepping up my love levels and continue looking for avenues to show my queen more love. I deliberately do this to ensure that the level of love I have for her does not drop at all.

I advise couples to check themselves from time to time, making sure that their love for each other does not become ordinary and eventually “fall out of love.”

We are created to be loved, and the best place to experience love is in marriage and family.


The quality of love and care are two powerful ingredients that hold a marriage and family together. Relaxing and forgetting to work on the love and care aspect of your marriage is dangerous.

If you feel your spouse has lost the spark or that “thing” that made him/her to admire you or fall in love with you in those days, try and restore it. It lies in your hand to bring back those beautiful moments. It is a decision you have to deliberately make.

Let it be known that love can be rated on a scale and that is why 1 Thessalonians 3:12 tells us “to INCREASE and abound in love one towards another.” This means that love can be made to grow, if you put some “labour of love” into it.

I would seriously suggest that couples should once in a while, take time to look at the quality of their love lives and see whether they are kind to each other or they do not keep records of past quarrels or not easily provoked, etc. These are among the qualities of love as listed in 1 Corinthians chapter 13.


One of our pastors once told us about a dream he had concerning his love life. Before that dream, he heard me talking about my decision to step up my love level for my wife, and this young man was amazed. He got home and prayed to God that he would like to have an idea of the level of love existing between him (the pastor) and his wife. He saw himself in a dream, where he was lying in a place that was not beautiful. When he woke up, he was confused. He checked himself and saw that he had nothing against his wife. He then drew her attention to the dream. After some time, God pointed to him that what he saw was the state of the love between him and his wife. They had not built a strong and beautiful love life. They felt bad and asked God to forgive them and help them grow more in their love for each other. They invited God’s presence into their marriage and love life. After this encounter, marital tension ceased; they felt joy.

From this story, we can see that God takes note, whenever we are not walking in genuine love with our spouses.

The depth of the love you have for your spouse is important to God. Keep growing in love for your spouse. Look more at his/her good aspects and less at the things he/she does wrong. Beautify your marriage with God’s kind of love. Love you.


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