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Investigating your woman’s past sex life


Charles Ighele

By the term “woman” above, I mean a female that a man is engaged to or married to.

Many years ago, Mr. Mango (not real name) had interest in a particular young lady.

He approached the lady and they started a relationship, which hardly took off from the ground.


If I can still remember very well, the relationship lasted about one week.

It was something like this: He liked the girl, spoke to her, the girl agreed and then he changed his mind before a relationship could take off.

Let me at this juncture advise females that they should look out for how serious and genuine a man’s proposals are before they say, “I do.”

Back to the story, some years later, another man got interested in this same lady and got engaged to her.

Instead of him to build his relationship, he went about investigating how many boyfriends she had had in the past.

What really kept me wondering was that in the course of his investigation, he came to Mr. Mango and asked him “I learnt you were once close to Miss Orange (not real name). Did you have sex with her?”

Why do some men behave this way? I think it is due to lack of self-importance, which leads to lack of self-confidence, which in turn leads to jealousy. And jealousy can make a person behave senselessly and illogically.


Since my wife Carol and I started counseling singles and married about thirty years ago, over ninety-eight percent of marital problems that had to do with jealousy did not make sense at all.

This reminds me of what happened many years ago, when I was still a branch pastor in this same ministry, which I presently head.

I was with my associate pastors in the church hall, when a woman walked in for counselling having listened to Carol and I on our television programme.

About ten minutes later, we heard a big bang and push on one of the church doors.

A man walked in who happened to be the woman’s husband. He broke down in tears asking for help on how to overcome jealousy.

They had had a disagreement that morning and the woman told him she was coming to meet “those television marriage counselors” (Carol and I) on how to live with a jealous person like him.


The wife did not know that the man was following her from a distance. Long story short, the man told us that he forcefully pushed the door opened, expecting to catch her red-handed having sex with male members of the church.

This man has low self-importance and self-confidence, which gave birth to uncontrollable jealousy.

I think that men who investigate how many boyfriends their fiancés or wives have had and how many times they have had sex are just a little better than this man.

They lack a sense of importance and self-confidence. I would advise that such men change their thinking.

They should see that by their women agreeing to marry them, it is enough to make them have a sense of self-importance, a sense of achievement.

It should give a man the sense of “I dey kampe.” It should make a man who reasons properly to forget “those things which are behind, and reaching forth to those things which are before” Phil 3:13.

It is not wise to investigate the past sex life of your fiancé or wife. Love you.

For further counseling, call: 09098845521,07066579379 and 08065415059

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