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Knowing whom to marry – Part 2

By Ayo Daniels
14 November 2021   |   4:12 am
We'll continue with our series on knowing whom to marry. Here are some other things to note. Arguments won’t deter you: Generally, conflicts have unpleasant effects on both men and women in relationships.

Ayo Daniels

We’ll continue with our series on knowing whom to marry. Here are some other things to note. Arguments won’t deter you: Generally, conflicts have unpleasant effects on both men and women in relationships. It is also true that individuals react differently to conflicts when they do occur. When you find the right person, you would prefer not to be engaged in a relentless tug of war. You will find your spouse trying to set things right, equally willing to put in the work and synergy needed to reach a resolution. Watch out and you will “disagree to agree” without verbal and emotional abuse Genesis 2:25.

Problem-solving ability: Each party should bring good supplies to their future home as assets and not liabilities. It is important to learn to communicate your thoughts and be willing to work through your differences in a way that doesn’t render your cooperation and progression futile. Finding the right person to marry is about finding that one person who believes in conflict resolution and is willing to be on the same team as you share your lives together.

When you meet the one, you become incredibly grateful, blessed and committed to putting in the required efforts for a healthy relationship: However, finding the right person to marry is no cakewalk, so don’t rush into it. Be alive to your environment, especially if you realise that there are persistent problems in your relationship that are beyond repairs, don’t sideline such. When we don’t find out the “why”, but consistently relegate relationship issues as unimportant and turn a blind eye, it becomes a sure guaranteed recipe for disaster. Also, do not delude yourself into believing that someone you love will change. A successful marriage is the cumulative efforts of commitment, love, and understanding. Do not rush into marriage, if there is no clarity about your future together Proverbs 18:22.

How do you know you are ready for marriage? That’s the million-dollar question, but when you know, you know. A successful marriage takes more than being madly in love, some prepared self-awareness is involved: You Love Yourself. You can’t be happy with someone else until you are 100 per cent happy with yourself. Being married is about joining two lives together, and not giving up one. Being content in your own skin means you are not looking to your partner to fill voids in your life. There comes a time in relationships, when people wonder if the person they are with is the right person to share life with. Many are concerned about how not to get into relationships that will go south. Even though there may be no physical yardstick to measure the strength of relationships at the start, there is a persuasion that comes from within, indicating that you are with the right person or not. Finding the right person to marry entails more than just someone with a sense of humour, charm, and financial stability Romans 8:14, 16.
Ayo Daniels is a healthy family practitioner. You can contact him: ayodaniels@mrlworld.com

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