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Marriage, money and happiness


black couple hands and flowers

It was a gathering of adults. As the discussion went on, a compere said, “IF YOU ARE NOT HAPPY WHEN YOU DO NOT HAVE MONEY, YOU WILL STILL NOT BE HAPPY WHEN YOU HAVE MONEY.”

But one of the intelligent men argued that for a man, who has responsibilities and does not have enough money to meet those responsibilities, there is no way such a man will be happy.

As a marriage and family counsellor, many eyes looked in my direction for what I had to say. I forgot to add that that statement made by the gentleman received a thunderous ovation.

Those who know me more intimately, who were part of the audience knew that I would want to swim against the tide of public opinion, which I did.

I explained that any marriage whose only or major source of happiness is money is not solid enough. I made it clear that while money is very important in marriage, couples should endeavour to build the foundation of the happiness of their marriage on love, kindness, contentment, patience, etc., and not on money only. I am not saying money cannot bring happiness to your home.

I made reference to how I started life on a financial footing above average. My finances later nosedived. I told them that while I did not want to remain in such a situation, I decided to be contented with whatever quality and quantity of food I could afford. On top of all these, I became very sick. And I needed to buy antibiotics as recommended by a doctor. I pleaded with a friend to lend me some money, which I promised to pay back after some months.

Before the time for pay back was due, the man came demanding for his money. I pleaded with him to hold on but he refused. He said in the absence of my not paying him, he would seize one of my easily moveable properties. I offered to give him my pressing iron but he refused. He said he would take my television set instead.

Oh my God! That was what kept me company. When I saw that he meant business, I unplugged the TV set, carried it in my hands, climbed down the staircase from my three-bedroom flat and put it in his car. He zoomed off with my TV set and I climbed up to my flat and started singing songs of joy and praise to God. I remained happy.

I told them there were few periods sadness would want to come but I chased sadness away by deciding to be happy. I made it clear that being happy is a choice, which should be determined from the heart and not just by money. A man or woman whose happiness is determined only by money is not quality enough.

So, I said couples should learn to be contented with every level of life that they find themselves. I quoted 1 Timothy 6:6-8 “But godliness with contentment is great gain… And having food and raiment let us be therewith content.”

A man, who is financially down should make up his mind to be happy and pass this happiness down to the wife and children. When the Bible says, “rejoice always I say rejoice,” it did not only refer to when there is money. It means that man has the ability to rejoice without money.

It is in such a state of contentment, (and not murmuring as the Israelites did in the wilderness) which pleases God and makes Him fight your financial battles for you.

At the end of my explanation, I asked whether they agreed with my views and I heard a loud “yes.” What’s your view? Love you.

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