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Marrying the carton or marrying the content


Charles Ighele

At a stage in my life as a very young man, my values began to change. I became mature. I began to like less the things I liked more and began to like more the things I liked less. This was due to the new birth experience. In my early twenties, I used to have fantastic ideas about the woman I would marry. At a stage, it was like I would want to marry a lady just stepping out of the catalogue. But when the word of God and common sense began to work on my mind, my values changed; especially about the kind of person I would like to have as my wife. It was the changed Charles that met a changed Carol.

When I met Carol, proposed marriage to her and eventually wedded her, she did not meet certain basic physical attractions I would have wanted in the lady I would marry. On her part, when she agreed to marry me, I did not at all meet some of the basic conditions of the man she would have agreed to marry. On my part, I would have wanted a taller lady, but Carol is not tall. Ah! I have not said that she is short o. I also would have wanted a lady with some moderately sizeable flesh, but Carol was thin with little flesh. I also wanted a fair complexioned lady, who was not from my ethnic group, but Carol is from my ethnic group and one of the darkest women on earth. But I decided to seek the face of God in prayer and this made me to be wise enough to see the CONTENT in her and not the CARTON I was seeing.

When I proposed to her, I was struggling financially to be on my feet. It was the survival stage of my life. Apart from my being a financially struggling man, Carol had vowed never to marry a first-born or somebody from a polygamous home. In my case, I am the first born from a polygamous home of twenty-one children from four women, with my mother alone having eleven children. But Carol prayed for wisdom to enable her make the right choice. She turned down wealthy young Christian professionals, who proposed marriage to her and instead chose me, the poorest of about nine suitors to be her husband.


This was because God gave her the wisdom and the foresight to see the content in me instead of the carton she was seeing. After we had our first baby, Carol put on the kind of flesh I loved my wife to have. Her colour never changed, as she still remains dark. Her height never changed. But all these have faded away. The beauty of her spirit is what I see right now and this has overshadowed any physical aspect of hers that I didn’t like initially.

Some ladies would say that they want a man who is lanky with broad shoulders, works with an oil company and earns high salary, with an official car. Some men would say their wife-to-be must be tall, busty and with big butt. All these are what I refer to as the CARTON. Instead of looking at the CARTON, look at the person’s spirit and character — the CONTENT. This is because the CARTON will fade off, but the CONTENT will remain forever.

Are you looking for a spouse? Go for the CONTENT and not the CARTON.
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In this article:
Charles Ighele
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