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Preparing your children to handle future marital problems

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Bishop Charles Ighele


Three or four Sundays ago, when we got home after the Sunday service, the table was set for lunch, as usual. As a tradition, we eat together as a household. As we were eating and chatting, I asked two of my girls this question: “supposing after getting married, you are invited to have dinner with three other couples in one of the couples’ home, and after the meal your husband says, “this is the best fried rice I have ever eaten in my life”, what will be your reaction?
One said, “What does he mean by that? He has to explain what he means by that.” The other said, “The journey back home will certainly be a dull one.”

The aim of this article is not really to answer this question.
However, it is not good for a man to praise another woman’s meal more than his wife’s. Even if the other woman’s meal is better, a man should have self-control and be wise enough to know that this is an area in married life where the right to free speech should be censored. A wise man should accept that perhaps, that is an area where his wife is not strong enough and move on with life.

On the other hand, if it is a matter that goes beyond the woman unable to cook most of the nice meals the husband prefers, a wise woman should take cooking lessons Nicodemusicaly or to the husband’s knowledge from another woman who is better at cooking.

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Any woman who finds herself in the position where her husband unconsciously or knowingly publicly praises the meal prepared by another woman should not let it lead to a marriage war. No normal woman will like her husband to announce publicly that her food is not delicious enough.

But my appeal to females is that they should try to control their anger and tell their husbands later in a very clear manner that what he said was not okay, and that he should not say such again. Tell him to learn how to keep such opinions to himself or share them with her alone, so that she can improve on her cooking.

For those men who would say, “Bishop, but the truth has to be said” and for the women who would say, “I will tell him the piece of my mind” Ephesians 4:15 says, “speak the truth in love”. You do not use what you think is the truth to attack your spouse or your children or workers. It is not wise to do so. It is only the truth spoken in love that has the capacity to help the person you are trying to correct to improve. In fact, many people resent those who speak the truth in a bitter or unkind manner.

As I earlier stated, the main aim of this write-up is not all that I have been saying. All I was doing with my daughters and others during lunch that Sunday afternoon was deliberately preparing them on how to handle certain issues that can come up in their marriage, so that by the time they get married, they already have the knowledge of how to handle aspects of marriage and family life. And I do this from time to time because I will not want any of them to be a complete illiterate on marriage and family matters before getting married.

A very important assignment of a responsible parent is to prepare their sons to be good husbands and fathers and their daughters to be good wives and mothers. This is the main reason I wrote this article. Love you.

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In this article:
Charles Ighele
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