By Charles Ighele

In my article in this column last Sunday, I wrote about how I was blindly in love.

After about three days of my being sacked and consequent depression, my eyes opened to the fact that I was an idiot. The signals that this girl will never make a good wife were many, but I ignored them.

Chei! It was much later I realised if she had not sacked me, I would have ended up marrying her and would have been one of the miserable husbands on earth. I would not have also fulfilled my God ordained destiny. I am still very grateful to God, today, that even while I was yet a sinner, He put insurmountable road blocks on my path without which, I would have walked like a cow (nama) to the slaughter.

From my years of being a marriage and family counsellor, I have found out that the following are among the steps that people should take to rescue their loved ones who are blindly in love.

• Some people approach the matter like Samson’s father and mother as can be seen in Judges 14:15,16. All they could say as stated in Judges 14:3 was: “Is there no other woman in the whole of Israel that you can pick to be a wife, apart from this paganPhilistine?” Samson, seeing that his parents were very soft on him took advantage of their softness and replied: “Get her for me; for she pleases me well”

• Another approach families use to rescue their loved ones who are blindly in love is to shout, scream and threaten that they will not attend the wedding. The way some blind lovers respond to this tactics is to abscond.

• A third approach some family members use is to go and threaten the lady or man that their loved one is blindly in Iove with, with words such as, “leave my son alone” or “leave my daughter alone.” A young man got angry with his mother and loved ones for going to harass his “innocent” girl. A woman whose son was blindly in love used this third approach some weeks ago in Ughelli, Delta State, Nigeria. She went to tell the girl her son was blindly in love with to leave her son alone.

A fight ensued and the mother of the girl was accidentally stabbed and she died.

What then should be done to a blind, deaf and mad lover? Parents of such a person and loved ones should individually or collectively put such a serious matter into deep and constant prayer and fasting without tormenting the blind lover with quarrelsome words such as: “We are praying and fasting for you. You will never marry him/her.”

Pray and fast secretly, but once within respectable intervals, you sit the blind lover down and begin to paint the picture of how the marriage is likely to be and likely to end. Make the person know that you love him/her, but that you hate to see him/her in a marriage that will be filled with sorrow.

I pray that your children’s marriages will bring joy to your life. Love you!

• Bishop Charles Ighele is the General Superintendent of Holy Spirit Mission, Lagos.