Sex in marriage

Sex in marriage is a paper presented by Rev. (Mrs.) Chinyere Madugba at The AGM Lagos District Couples Day, on September 7, 2019.

Hebrews 13:4a Marriage is honourable in all, the bed undefiled. 1 Corinthians 7:1-5 that Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.  Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.  Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. 

Sex is a sacred experience and is the first commandment that God gave to man: “Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth” Genesis 1:28. Genesis 2:24-25 Therefore, shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh (in all ramifications, emotionally, communication, physically,). And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.  This charge makes it clear that sex is only approved by God to take place between a legally married man and woman. This charge was given before sin entered the world. Therefore, lovemaking (the strong and beautiful mating urge a husband and wife feel for each other) and procreation were ordained and enjoyed while man continued in his original state of innocence. Unfortunately, this pleasurable experience eludes most Christian couples, contrary to the plan and will of God.

Marriage is a covenant not a contract. God was part of that covenant when you exchanged vows with your wife in Malachi 2:14. Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant. A covenant was entered by you, your spouse and God.

In a covenant relationship, you lose your rights and take up your responsibility. You lose whatever you think was yours and surrender it to your partner. You do not look out for what you will gain in a covenant relationship,, you just look out for ways to bless your partner. You are committed in a covenant without any conditions.  Covenant goes with a strong love and commitment that stands the test of time. It goes with faithfulness. Sex is the seal of the covenant between you and your husband.

It says to each other I am never naked and not ashamed before anyone else in this world, because you are the only person I sleep with in this world, this level of closeness does not exist between me and anyone else in this world. They see each other as covenant partners and do their best to remain faithful to each other. This is a very serious matter. God sees all that happens everywhere both in secret and in the open. Proverbs 5:21 For the ways of man are before the eyes of the LORD, and he pondereth all his goings. Pro 15:3.The eyes of the LORD are in every place, beholding the evil and the good.

If you are sleeping around, it means that you are a covenant breaker and desecrating your marriage bed whenever you have sex with someone else. Good sex is pure sex, done with the right person and in the right place. Sex with your spouse is the only one that can make you happy. Any other sex with a stranger will leave you dirty, guilty, condemned and feeling miserable and used. It defiles you and makes you an unfaithful partner. When you break the covenant, it affects even your business. Anyone who is unfaithful in the marriage bed will most likely be unfaithful in every area of life.
Evang. Mrs Helen. C. Okafor
Lagos District WM Coordinator