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Should your wife be strong or weak?


Bishop Charles Ighele

I remember my wife, Carol and I having an argument in the first year of our marriage.

I am not the shouting type but I firmly told her, “I am the head of this house.”

Instead of Carol to keep quiet, she replied with words filled with a combination of seriousness and humour: “I have no problem in agreeing with the fact that as my husband you are the head of this house.


But it is good for you to also know that if you are the head of this house then, I am the neck of this house”.

These words followed: “God gave me to you as your wife to help you succeed, but if you think I am competing with you, I can as well keep quiet.

But if I keep quiet, it will not help you.” Boy, those words knocked some sense into my head.

Since that time, I never again said, “I am the head of this house”.

When I said: “I am the head of this house,” a weak woman might have sheepishly kept quiet and accepted me as a Napoleon who “is always right” as portrayed in George Orwell’s classic, The Animal Farm.

But Carol’s response did not portray a person with a weak spirit.

I had the option of bruising, battering or breaking her spirit, thereby making her to become a weak wife.


The second option was to deliberately take steps to make her a stronger woman and wife than the girl I married.

I did not even give one second thought towards executing the first thought because, making a wife to be weak is not supposed to be part of the character of a real man.

I, therefore, decided to make her strong. I CHOOSE TO MAKE HER STRONG is the title of a book I am likely to write about 10 to 15 years from now.

I have seen that my having a strong wife is greatly helping me to fulfil my destiny.

Genesis 2:18 is a scripture, which is of great help to any man who is really a man.

And the Lord God said, “it is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.”

When God said “I will make him an help meet for him,” He simply meant that He would make for the man a helper, a companion.


The question now is: would you want your helper to be weak or strong? As for me Charles the son of Israel Ighele, I will prefer my helper to be strong.

God wired every part of the woman to be of help to the man.

But some men think that they do not need spiritual, emotional, intellectual, physical help and occasional doses of wisdom, knowledge and understanding from their wives.

Some think that their wives’ place is “in the kitchen” and “the other room.”

Some husbands will tell their wives “mind your business.” But they do not know that her business is to mind your business.

I know that some women who do not truly love their husbands because of their self-centredness have abused, misused and confused their husbands’ lives.
But this does not mean that all women should be confined to a corner of your life.

A strong man is the man who will build up a weak wife and make her stronger.

A strong man is the man who will make a strong wife stronger.

A strong man is the man who can live joyfully in the same house with a spiritually, emotionally, physically, intellectually and a-talent-exhuming-confident strong woman.

May men be strong enough to make their wives strong enough. Love you.

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