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Singles, family and societal marital pressures

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Bishop Charles Ighele


ONE way that society rates ladies and “judges” them is by their marital status. The African society generally showers more honour on married women than single women. I have heard some single ladies say words like, “I will do anything to get a husband”. Most often than not, many of the women who say such words end up making costly mistakes. Some jump at the first man that comes their way especially when they start feeling the pressures that come with age without prayerfully looking into it.

As a marriage minister, I believe wholeheartedly in marriage but I also know that not all females get married quickly as society and family expect. The purpose of this write up is to let Iadies of marriageable age not to allow societal and marital pressures to make them panic or make the wrong choice.

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God’s word can never be broken. He has said in His word that He made them male and female. So, for you, there is a male you should expect to come your way. All you have to do is believe and stand on His word without wavering.

When you allow societal and family pressures to affect you, your faith in God’s ability weakens and your heart gets filled with worry and doubts. He will say, “why not have sexual intercourse with that man, if you do, he will marry you”. “Why not dress more provocatively?” Why not leave your church, there are no eligible bachelors there?” The suggestions are numerous but remember, nothing the devil plans for you is good.

I encourage you to joyfully hold on to God’s word and enjoy your singleness by serving Him wholeheartedly.
I remember the story I heard some years ago. A lady of marriageable age, saw her mother dress up ready to step outside and curiously she asked “mummy, where are you going?” The mother replied that she was going for an all-night prayer to pray for her to get married. The daughter did not find this funny at all.

I will also like to use this write up to appeal to parents not to put unnecessary pressures on their daughters to get married. Society already puts enough pressure on these ladies and makes them feel the state of singleness is a state to be endured not to be enjoyed. But this is contrary to God’s word. God’s word says, “…the unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy in body and spirit…”(1 Corinthians 7:32-33).

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Single ladies are to be filled with joy serving God with all their heart and not pining and sorrowing over their single state. I believe it is the duty of parents to bring up their daughters to find joy in every season of life. To every season of life, God has a special plan.

When she was a toddler- God had a plan for her. Now she is a single lady, God still has a plan for her. When she becomes a married mother of children, God will still have a plan for her. For every season, God has a plan and purpose. We may not understand it but the beauty of being Christians is to joyfully follow His leading even when we may not understand.

Parents, I enjoin you; do not pressurise your daughters. Do not make them feel you are less proud of them because they are unmarried. Instead, encourage them to joyfully work for God in this season of life. Yes, as a parent, you may feel concerned but quell those worries with the word of God. Stand on the word and believe God has a husband prepared for your daughters. Let your faith encourage her. Love you.

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In this article:
Charles Ighele
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